Monday, November 03, 2008
On this day before elections, I thought I would tell a few funny tidbits about what a horrible mother I am. Just to get your minds off all of the CHOICES we have to make tomorrow! Doesn't it just give you a headache to think of all the wonderful possibilities that this election day holds! Haha.
Proof that I am a horrible mom (as if anyone needed proof):
Today we went to the Fremont Indian Museum. There is a lot of hiking involved to see all there is to see. Gwen was pretty excited to see the Fremont Spider Woman, not a joke. So we are hiking and it's getting pretty steep and Gwen slips. I had a little heart attack while I jumped to catch her. Then we had this conversation: Gwen: "I'm okay Mom, I just bitched my bum." Me: (totally bewildered and trying not to laugh) "What? You just pinched your bum?" Gwen: "Nooo Mooommm, I saaaaid, I just BITCHED my bum." (I love when my kids talk to me in that tone of voice that says "You are an idiot mom.") The conversation went on for a minute while I tried to figure out where she had learned to talk like that or if possibly she thinks she made it up and it's just nonsense. And then the whole thing had to be repeated once the boys caught up with us. Joey is a lot better at not laughing at naughty things, so as not to encourage it.
#1 Proof that I am a bad mom (Possibly #1 of all time for me):
After the museum I was trying to figure out how my new lights work while the kids watched TV in lieu of a nap. Suddenly Gwen starts shrieking, not that unusual. So I wait for her to come and tell me what she is overreacting about. She runs in with her shirt up yelling something about Max. Still nothing out of the ordinary and since I can't understand a word she is saying, I patiently wait for her to calm down a little. Before she has time to calm down, my evil little monkey runs in from the other room, clearly coming after her and she becomes even more hysterical. I'm not even going to tell you what he was chasing her with. (It was a knife) She was not overreacting this time. Why does he have to be so dang tall? If I keep my dangerous things any higher, I won't be able to reach them. So I took Gwen to Joey because, frankly, she loves him the best. When I got back to Max he said innocently, "Whats happen?" And then he saw that I had his knife and said in his most evil voice, "That's mine!!". Good thing I lock his door at night. (More proof of my bad mothering?)