I don't have anything funny to say.
I am afraid that funny to me is offensive to others.
So maybe I should clear some things up.
1. I love my kids. They annoy me and I joke about not liking them. But I do. No need to call social services (again)...no one is being abused or starved. Max does not like conventional foods, but he is taking a multi vitamin.
2. I love my husband. I wish I was as publicly loyal as other women. But once in awhile I feel like Joey should take one for the team if it's going to get me a good laugh. (I'm joking again Joey...it is completely not on purpose. Does that make it worse? Sorry.)
3. Joey is more intelligent than I am. He knows about lots more things than I even want to. He is honest. He honors his priesthood and tries everyday to be a better person. (I try everyday to get out of bed before lunchtime and to make dinner before bedtime.)
4. I love my mom. I tease her a lot on my blog. And I am sorry. I tease to show affection. I know that she knows that. But sometimes it probably still hurts her feelers.
5. Hmmm...what else am I sarcastic about in my blog.. Well the title is suzy the homemaker. But I think everyone knows that is sarcastic.
6. All of those dead birds on my porch (2 more just this week...the last one was pretty with yellow tail feathers) did not want to come and live in my lovely home that only emits lovely smells of dinner and baked goods in the oven. Nor was it because my windows are so sparkling clean. They are just stupid. And from up high there is a window placed just perfectly to fool birds into thinking they could just fly right through to the backyard.
I have been trying to be more serious, but it is booooring. I like to joke around and tease people and be sarcastic. So instead of changing who I am for the people around me, because lets face it, no one out there is changing who they are for me, lets just deal with it. No public comments please, but if you would rather not be the butt of anymore of my jokes, send me an email. Or maybe you are just afraid that you will appear in my headlines in the future, feel free to express your desire to remain unnamed in the event that something funny or unfortunate should happen in my presence.
If you are reading this Rachelle, no need to send that email. I know how you feel about sarcasm and I love you anyway. And that is not why you haven't heard from me in months, I am just a bad friend. For real.
Just in case anyone is feeling awkward right now, here are some pictures of my sweet nephew that we can all discuss. Please no comments about what a great cook/mother/wife/friend/etc. that you think I am. I know the truth and I am not afraid of it.