Thursday, November 19, 2009

What to say...what to say?

I don't have anything funny to say.

I am afraid that funny to me is offensive to others.

So maybe I should clear some things up.

1. I love my kids.
They annoy me and I joke about not liking them. But I do. No need to call social services (again) one is being abused or starved. Max does not like conventional foods, but he is taking a multi vitamin.

2. I love my husband. I wish I was as publicly loyal as other women. But once in awhile I feel like Joey should take one for the team if it's going to get me a good laugh. (I'm joking again is completely not on purpose. Does that make it worse? Sorry.)

3. Joey is more intelligent than I am.
He knows about lots more things than I even want to. He is honest. He honors his priesthood and tries everyday to be a better person. (I try everyday to get out of bed before lunchtime and to make dinner before bedtime.)

4. I love my mom.
I tease her a lot on my blog. And I am sorry. I tease to show affection. I know that she knows that. But sometimes it probably still hurts her feelers.

5. Hmmm...what else am I sarcastic about in my blog.. Well the title is suzy the homemaker. But I think everyone knows that is sarcastic.

6. All of those dead birds on my porch (2 more just this week...the last one was pretty with yellow tail feathers) did not want to come and live in my lovely home that only emits lovely smells of dinner and baked goods in the oven. Nor was it because my windows are so sparkling clean. They are just stupid. And from up high there is a window placed just perfectly to fool birds into thinking they could just fly right through to the backyard.

I have been trying to be more serious, but it is booooring. I like to joke around and tease people and be sarcastic. So instead of changing who I am for the people around me, because lets face it, no one out there is changing who they are for me, lets just deal with it. No public comments please, but if you would rather not be the butt of anymore of my jokes, send me an email. Or maybe you are just afraid that you will appear in my headlines in the future, feel free to express your desire to remain unnamed in the event that something funny or unfortunate should happen in my presence.

If you are reading this Rachelle, no need to send that email. I know how you feel about sarcasm and I love you anyway. And that is not why you haven't heard from me in months, I am just a bad friend. For real.

Just in case anyone is feeling awkward right now, here are some pictures of my sweet nephew that we can all discuss. Please no comments about what a great cook/mother/wife/friend/etc. that you think I am. I know the truth and I am not afraid of it.


kellyrass said...

Ha!!! #3 was hilarious - you really did make me laugh on that one. Mission accomplished.

Nat said...

What a cute little baby! I hope it is okay to comment. I think you are hilarious! Oh, and a few weeks ago, I was jogging, and I dead bird fell out if the sky right in front of me. It was a little freaky. I didn't know if it dropped dead mid-flight, or if it hit the power lines, or if some sick hermit was chucking them at innocent joggers. Whatever it was, it made me think of you! :)

Aubrey said...

I find it hard to believe that anyone takes you serious. Or have they just not seen your halloween picture on your blog?!!

Must run in the genes - lucky you!!

NatPalmer said...

While a lot of bloggers try only to show their best side... you tell it like it is- good/ugly/whatever. I find your humor and sarcasim refreshing. I complain/joke about my kids on my blog too, but figure people should know my personality by now, so whatever. :)

Sarah said...

I love your blog. I think you are funny and creative and always try to write more like you. I am a boring writer and so it is fun when you update because I know I will always laugh! Cute, cute, cute baby... I want one!

KayTee said...

Who the H*** cares what everyone else thinks... I don't and people think I am a B**** for it... But I don't change because if we were meant to be all nice, cuddly, and sweet then we would of never progressed from the 50's house wife. Who's soul responsibility was doing the bidding of her husband and not taking time to care for herself. :) I love you just the way you are and enjoy the fact that there are others out there that aren't afraid to be who they are no matter who is around... (No that doesn't mean people think you are a B**** too. We don't need another me in the world I'm not sure people are ready for that) Mahalo for you posts.