Thursday, January 21, 2010

Orange Peels


As I was peeling an orange yesterday, I remembered something funny.

Did you ever worry when you were younger about your future?

I did.

I worried about my first day of high school when I was still in 4th grade.

I worried about being pregnant.

I DID NOT want to get pregnant by conventional means. HOW EMBARRASSING!

I even had a pact with a boyfriend when I was 16 that we would get married and just adopt kids.
I bet he was excited about that. Haha...

I worried about writing a thesis paper. (Haha...)

I worried about my parents dying.

Once I started crying on the bus on the way to school because I was looking at the bus drivers shoes and they reminded me of my grandpa and I starting thinking of how sad it would be when he died.

I worried that all of my grandparents wouldn't be alive when I got married. (As it turned out, all 4 were alive...but only two made it anyway. Oh well.)

These were all things that crossed my mind in elementary school...

Mostly on the bus...

We must have lived FAR away from the school...

But my most vivid memory was not worrying too much about these things because I just KNEW I would never have to experience them.

Does everyone think that they will die young?

I fantasized about it.

I didn't WANT to die. I just knew I was going to.

I hoped it wouldn't be too painful.

But I knew it probably wouldn't happen in my sleep since I would NOT be an old lady.

I remember writing out a will before bed one night because I was convinced that I was not going to wake up in the morning.

My 12 year old self thought it was necessary to put into writing who would get my underwear and my books... just in case there were any fights over my precious/meager worldly possessions.

I made sure to tuck the will under my shirt so that it was sure to be found with my body.

I may or may not have been a little disappointed to wake up just as healthy in the morning as I had ever been. I mean really.... I went through all of the fear and acceptance for nothing? But then again...I was alive.

So back to the orange. I used to think about what people would most remember me for.

The thing that always popped into my head was my loved ones peeling an orange years after my demise and talking about how "Suzy could peel an orange in one peel."

I cannot in fact peel an orange in one peel.

And I am still alive.

SO TELL ME: What kinds of things did you worry about the most when you were little?

11 comments:

Emily P said...

No offense Suz, but I wouldn't have wanted your underwear. Just kidding, I am sure they were lovely. I am happy you aren't dead. Keep on living.

Sarah said...

I was just saying today that I used to worry about hitting other cars head on. I distinctly remember driving back from my grandparents home one night and thinking -We are going to hit one of these cars and my dad is not even trying to move out of the way- now I realize that we didn't have a fatal collision because roads have at least 2 lanes in them, one for traveling on the right and one for traveling on the left, but at the time I was utterly terrified for my life.

Randi said...

Having someone to stand by in the lunch line. You can cry now.

Loriannie said...

I used to worry that dad would die. In fact,I was sure that I would be this strong brave widow who was so devoted to her kids and grandkids that she would never consider remarrying. I don't worry about that as much now that i am not terrified of the dark. I do however worry way too much about something happening to a grandchild.

patty said...

I worried a lot that someone would notice that I was taller than all the other kids. Hence, my bad posture and I'm pretty sure they noticed anyway.

The Adams Family said...

I remember worrying when I was little about when I grew up and got married that I would pass out after we "marched down the aisle and were standing accross from eachother" he he...I worried about this because I have passed out twice before from locking my legs when standing. The things we worry about. Now I just worry about EVERYTHING. lol Jason got me a book for Christmas that is called. "Stop worrying and live your life" its really a good book:)

I'm talking to Steph right now and she said that she used to worry about earthquakes because of the Full House episode that they had an earthquake:)

Layne said...

When I was little i always used to worry about how I would be good enough to have a job someday and what that job would be... I guess thats still my worry.

SevenVillageIdiarts said...

I don't remember worrying when I was a kid, but I worried a TON when I first married that Damian would die and leave me with a baby. . .so I made plans to marry his best friend, that I had a crush on BEFORE Damian. Then, a few years later, Damian's best friend married and my plans went out the window. Then, I really worried. What was Plan B for Damian's death? I made him get a few million dollars life insurance and now I don't worry anymore.

Elaine Goold said...

I don't worry, I let Gary and Daniel do all the worrying for me. Gary worries so much that he can't sleep and Daniel has always been the biggest worrier I have ever known. He was a worrier from the moment he was born, I think. I should get him to write about what he worries about - it would take pages!!

{Brooke} said...

I always worried about throwing away my retainer on my lunch tray in elementary. I was afraid what my mom would do/say if I did!

Encore Dance said...

I always worried that I'd get in a wreck with a big pop in the car...I didn't want the paramedics to think I peed my pants. I did have a HUGE pop in the car when I got in a wreck in SLC and they asked if we had drinks cause there was a lot of liquid in the car. I bet they thought I peed my pants. Well don't have to worry about that anymore!!