Wednesday, January 13, 2010

R-E-S-P-E-C-T



I have been noticing a lot lately the lack of respect being taught to children. I am in the young womens program at church and I am surprised at the lack of respect shown to the adults.

I know this starts at home and if kids are not required to show proper respect to their parents that they will not show respect to other adults.

So what do I do?

Gwen already thinks I am a moron because I don't go to school like she does. Even her dad goes to school...so what is wrong with me?




(Moms are so stupid...)


Should I sit her down and explain to her that I am WAY smarter than her because I already went to Kindergarten?

Would that conversation have helped me in the 6th grade when I felt like I couldn't ask my mom for help with my math homework because she was too dumb?

Probably not.


Has anyone seen the show on CMT about strict parents? They send wayward children to spend a week with families who are strict. I've only seen it twice, but one of the families was from Moab Utah. I want my children to treat me with the same respect that these parents have successfully taught their children. Did anyone see this? I loved it.

One of the things that these parents did was teach consequences. I usually think about consequences having to fit in with what it was the child did wrong. But these parents made their kids saw wood. I thought it was perfect. It was hard work and it was cold outside and if they couldn't go in until they did it. And it was hard for the dad who had to stand out there in the cold with them until they finished.

Obviously I can't make my children saw wood for a few more years. But I feel like "time-out" is not consequential enough to keep them from repeating bad behavior.

I hate to ask for parenting advice because I know I am gonna roll my eyes at half the advice I get. Especially when I know your kids and I know what brats they are? Haha....I am totally kidding. Who wants to leave a comment now?

Seriously. What do you do to punish your kids for bad behavior? How well does it work? Do your kids talk back to you? Is face slapping allowed?

Also, if you don't have kids yet...leave a comment and tell us all what you think you will do when your kids misbehave. If you feel like your kids will never misbehave, be honest. We could all use a good laugh.

13 comments:

JACKS said...

a guy at our ward on Sunday said not to spank because It teaches kids how to hit. I say sometimes they just need a good smack, I do it to Carson all the time. He's only 2 months old but he'll think twice about spitting up on me next time. This is Randi by the way and I'm just kidding, don't call DCFS on me.

kellyrass said...

My mom always thought face slapping was good, and look how well Joey turned out. Try it (on Joey).

suzy said...

I totally agree with you. I am the last person to ever call DCFS on someone.

Lori said...

Suzy I would never give advice on raising kids, I have eaten every word I have ever said about my kids not doing something.
This has nothing to do with advice but just wanted to thank you for putting Kristi Approved on your blog - it has really changed my whole life, not to mention my body. I had been looking for something like this to get me motivated again, and wow, it has been great. Elyse and I have both lost about 15 pounds. I owe you!!

patty said...

Maybe Kelly needs a good face slap now for ruining my reputation for all the blog-world to see. Don't make me have to sue.

patty said...

Now here's my real comment. Teach, teach, teach. That's what I mean by being intentional. How do you want your kids to be? Find those principles and teach them over and over again-but not when they are naughty. (you can't reason with a drunk) I like the Eyre's "Teaching your children values." So if you are teaching respect then every FHE for a month (and in between) will be the focus with stories, games, play acting, rewards, charts--whatever works. If they(and you) know what you want to create, you have a foundation. Then you may have to teach those values over and over again for 18 years. And NO, everyone, I didn't do this but if I had understood the method then I would have. I'm not very smart.

suzy said...

Lori....it changed my life too! Even if it doesn't look like it, I LOVE to go to the gym now. And Patty, Joey said he can't remember the abuse, so it's ok. Will you please come to Richfield and teach FHE sometime?

SevenVillageIdiarts said...

I'm still trying to figure this one out. Now that I have teen-agers the respect has gone out the window and I just hope my kids will want to be my friends once they leave home. But I doubt some will. Today, I made Emma pay me $10 for cleaning her room, and she's already lost her cell phone permanently. I'm not sure we'll be friends. Oh, and I have some great stories from OUR family geneology. From your dad's side, obviously. The g'parents that were from South Africa wrote a pretty interesting book (they were british colonizers until they heard the gospel, not Afrikaans) and the other g'pa that had his brains beat out by mobs, even though he wasn't a member (his son was). He held pieces in his hands, threw them in a fire and lived. I'll email them to you. What's your email? mine is sarahidiart @ msn.com (no spaces between!)

Loriannie said...

all I have to say is.....HA HA HA HA HA hA hA HA HA
j/k
#1- Certainlt don't allow disrespect right to your face. I know you can't control whats behind your back, but seriously don't LAUGH because you think it is cute. Soon it isn't.
#2-Don't over react when you do #1
#3- tell your children that someday they will have kids just like you
#4-Laugh when they ask for advice
J/K still- I love you!!!!

Elaine Goold said...

Suzy, here is what Gary came up for one of our children. (It wasn't Sarah). He made her go to her room and count her blessings. Depending on what she was being punished for (usually for sassing me) she might have to come back with 5 blessings, or 10 blessings. etc. Once it was 20 blessings. Now she can only remember good things about her childhood. Amazing! She thinks we were wonderful parents and gave her tons of love. We started when she was little, and kept it up until she left home. (Mostly to get away from us, I think), but she really does now only remember the good stuff, which is a blessing, I think.

sweet {love.} shop said...

Well in our house things are a little crazy with 3 girls of course...but mostly its leading by example...so you know I try to be patient, not yell, you know the usual....not saying I am always successful :)

But our girls know that when they choose not to use their listening ears or they disrespect that there will be consequences. For now my little ones cant saw wood either, so they lose a privilige that may mean alot to them, a game, etc. Also going to their room or time out for every minute of their age seems to work for now.

Obviously every child is different but I have a seriously smart and sometimes sassy 4 year old and this does the trick so far! :)

sweet {love.} shop said...

I just thought to myself, I should have just shut my mouth because you know darn well that come tomorrow, all will be chaos in our house and her behavior will be off the charts bad. That is what usually happens when I open my mouth about it :)

Stephanie & Nikki said...

Hi Suzy ~

I just happened upon your blog this morning and felt this would be a subject I could comment on.

To be honest, I always told myself I wouldn't hit my kids. But in almost six years that my son has been on this earth (nearly four for my daughter) I've found that nothing teaches a lesson better than a good spanking. Granted, I give them about twenty warnings first, but a person can only take so much. =) I just keep in mind that there is a difference between good old fashioned discipline and flat out child abuse. I got the belt as a child and I like to think I turned out fine.