When I was a little girl my grandma taught me self control.
She would tickle my feet while I watched cartoons.
And it worked.
I have complete control of myself whilst being tickled.
Unfortunately I failed to grasp the real lesson that she was trying to teach.
The only time I ever display any form of self control is while being tickled.
My worst displays of lack of self control have shown up in the last few years in the form of impatience. I blame Max.
I struggle with it everyday.
I have learned a few things that seem to help.
Eating...I am mean when I am hungry.
Sleeping...not as important as eating, but still makes me mean when I don't get enough.
Exercise...it just makes me nicer all around.
Leaving the windows open in hopes that I might care more about what my neighbors think than my own children.
Yesterday I found the most fail safe trick yet.
I had just watched Life is Beautiful.
It is an Italian film, but I was working on pictures and couldn't read the subtitles at the same time.
So I turned on the crappy english language with Italian accent dubbing.
So yesterday I started talking to Max with an Italian accent.
I know, I am weird.
It made him laugh, so I kept doing it.
I did it all day long.
I accidentally reverted back to it once on the phone.
It was embarrassing.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to yell at your kids in any accent other than your own.
Tell me how it works for you.
If my children have learned anything about me in their short lives it is that I am nothing if not inconsistent.
Impossible to live with one day and impossible to hate the next day.
I guess we all turn out like our own mothers eventually.
Right, Mom? Games for jobs one day and banished to my messy room the next.
You all know what I'm talking about.
Or maybe you don't.
So tell me...
What do you do when you feel all logic and reason deserting you?
Do you take a deep breath?
Do you leave the room?
Or do you yell?
Don't pretend like you don't yell.
(Unless you are my mother in law. Joey tells me that he can't recall a time that she lost control enough to yell.)