Friday, April 30, 2010

Thatsa spicy meataball!

When I was a little girl my grandma taught me self control.

She would tickle my feet while I watched cartoons.

And it worked.

I have complete control of myself whilst being tickled.

Unfortunately I failed to grasp the real lesson that she was trying to teach.

The only time I ever display any form of self control is while being tickled.

My worst displays of lack of self control have shown up in the last few years in the form of impatience. I blame Max.

I struggle with it everyday.

I have learned a few things that seem to help.

Eating...I am mean when I am hungry.

Sleeping...not as important as eating, but still makes me mean when I don't get enough. just makes me nicer all around.

Leaving the windows open in hopes that I might care more about what my neighbors think than my own children.

Yesterday I found the most fail safe trick yet.

I had just watched Life is Beautiful.

It is an Italian film, but I was working on pictures and couldn't read the subtitles at the same time.

So I turned on the crappy english language with Italian accent dubbing.

So yesterday I started talking to Max with an Italian accent.

I know, I am weird.

It made him laugh, so I kept doing it.

I did it all day long.

I accidentally reverted back to it once on the phone.

It was embarrassing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to yell at your kids in any accent other than your own.

Try it.

Tell me how it works for you.

If my children have learned anything about me in their short lives it is that I am nothing if not inconsistent.

Impossible to live with one day and impossible to hate the next day.

I guess we all turn out like our own mothers eventually.

Right, Mom? Games for jobs one day and banished to my messy room the next.

You all know what I'm talking about.

Or maybe you don't.

So tell me...

What do you do when you feel all logic and reason deserting you?

Do you take a deep breath?

Do you leave the room?

Or do you yell?

Don't pretend like you don't yell.

(Unless you are my mother in law. Joey tells me that he can't recall a time that she lost control enough to yell.)


Dunn4 said...

And we all know that Joey never stretches the truth....HaHaHa...but really, living in the neighborhood, I NEVER once heard Patty raise her voice. Of course, I was yelling so loud I couldn't have heard her if she had!!!!!

patty said...

Well, let's see what the other Carlson kids have to say about that.

kellyrass said...

Hmmm . . . I know my mom is waiting for us to say something, but she really never yelled at us. She liked to use the old guilt card a lot, but the yelling came from someone else.

I like to yell and call my kids names. I find it therapeutic . Ima keeding.

Talia, Justin, and Turner said...

I shut myself in the bathroom and yell at the top of my lungs daily.

I live in a townhouse.

The "yelling bathroom" shares a wall with my neighbors. I know they can hear me and i don't care.

SevenVillageIdiarts said...

You really are so hilareous. I like the idea of opening the windows ALMOST as much as the accent one. You're a hoot. When are you going to email me a version of your superhero family pic that I can upload to shutterfly and print for my walls? I have a lot of walls and one empty one is crying for your family pic. One already has your boys feet hanging off the blue toilet! xoxo

Nanette said...

I usually resort to yelling, but I am trying to change that. Since I have been pregnant I think my patience has gone out the window.

Elyse & Dale said...

I'm going to be in town ALL SUMMER with no job and no school and no friends. Need a babysitter all the time? I'm your go to girl for everything. seriously.

Loriannie said...

since I am ridculed for my lack of ability in speaking with an accent, this idea wouldn't have helped me much. I think of Anne of Green Gables when she admits that although sheis sometimes seems out of control, she is actually trying really hard and it would be much worse if she didn't. Am I supposed to defend myself on your blog? j/k!

misha~sha-sha said...

Okay...I don't know you. I found your blog through my friend Jennie's. are hilarious. Thanks for a good laugh!

Jennie said...

Hee Hee. I'm garnering you fans through my blog. Misha's great. You'll love her blog if you get a chance to read it. I lost it big time with my kids the other day. I had to go take a walk. Misha ran away from home once...

Nathan and Toni Southam said...

Did you ever get a chance to finish "Life is Beautiful?" It is so amazing. I cried! By the way, I just want to tell you again how much I LOVE the pictures. Everyone is crazy about them. I already have a bunch of friends that want to get family pics done by you this summer! You are awesome!