Monday, September 12, 2011

Fake Suzy

This was the picture that popped up when I googled "fake suzy"

Joey texted me last Saturday and told me that he got a phone call and we had been asked to speak in Sacrament.  My whole philosophy here in Arizona is "fake it 'til you make it". (Or something like that...I don't think I've actually said those words.)  So things that are normally out of my comfort zone I am totally pretending are no big deal.  I texted him back and said, "Oh good."

I don't like public speaking.  Who does really?  Joey does.  Kayleigh does.  Gwen does.  They are weird.  No one likes it.  Since it will only be our 3rd weed in this ward, my job is mainly to introduce our family.  So I stressed more about what I was going to do with my kids while we were speaking than I did about actually thinking about what I would say.  On Friday night the subject came up and Joey told me that I really should prepare SOMETHING because we were given slightly different topics. 

So I buckled down and spent my Saturday preparing a talk.  It was mostly plagiarized.  And it didn't do much in the way of introducing us.  I thought that would be kind of funny in an odd way.  Mostly it would have just been weird now that I think about it. When Joey got home he kindly suggested that I go another way with it.  So I did.  It turned out that we only had 15 minutes between the two of us and I took 10 of them.  This is only the second time I have had to speak in sacrament in the last 9 years and we have been in 6 different wards.

Other things I've been faking since we moved here:

That I didn't hate Joey in high school.  I decided it is not a very flattering story for either of us.  So I changed it.  Now we have a sweet love story and everyone will think we are so precious.  Being funny isn't the most important thing.

I wear a lot of jewelry when we go places. I always feel like women who wear jewelry to the grocery store must have it all figured out.

I get the kids ready for church.  I mean, they have always gone to church in Sunday clothes, but there have been times while sitting in Sacrament and I get a good look at them that I am embarrassed.  So...Gwen is not allowed to choose her own clothes...not for church at least.  And hair brushing is a must.  Max is required to wear socks.  So far it is working out.  And for the last 2 weeks I have gone to Relief Society and sat by complete strangers, instead of in the corner.  I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with that one.

I set up play dates with other homeschooling (k12ing) moms and pretend like I am totally comfortable when I really wish I could sit there and read a book while my children play instead of talking to a stranger. 

I had resolved to truly be Suzy Homemaker when we moved here as well.  To really just be a different person and quit making a joke of my complete ineptitude where domestic abilities are concerned.  I was going to cook a good meal every night and be pleasant no matter what and keep a spotless house and drive my kids to karate and piano lessons and teach them everything they will ever need to know from home and to never raise my voice.

I didn't take into account that no matter what I one else is going to change.  Max will still refuse to eat anything I matter how long it took to prepare.  Gwen will still cry every single time she sees a matter how tenderly I brush.  Cash will still wake up at 4:30 every matter how tired I am. And inevitably I will still raise my matter who is listening through the paper thin walls of our apartment.  I also didn't take into account the heat and how it would make me extra impatient when small legs take their dear sweet time getting out of the car at the store while the rest of us wait.

It was also a bad idea to mention my plan to Joey.  But when he noticed that things were pleasantly different around the house, I was so excited that my evil plan was working that I HAD to tell someone.  Of course then that leaves room for the other person to ask, "What happened to the new Suzy?" anytime things go a little of course. 

So new Suzy didn't last long.  But fake Suzy is still alive and well whenever we venture out into the real world.

Have you ever lived in an apartment with a baby? How about a neighbor with a baby?  What is more annoying: A baby crying at all hours of the night and possibly being allowed to cry for up to 10 minutes on occasion? OR hearing people fight?

Our neighbors got in a doosie of a fight last week.  It was not in English, so we couldn't follow along, but we sat on the bathroom counter and listened to it for a good half an hour regardless. 

Then they moved.  I wonder if he killed her...or maybe they got divorced.  Or maybe they were fighting about the move.  Moving does kind of make you despise your spouse for awhile.

Or maybe they were sick of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of someone elses baby crying.

(Please talk to me.  Can you tell by my rambling post that I converse solely with children all day long?)  Sometimes Joey comes home from school before I go to bed.  But not often.


Randi said...

I miss real Suzy! Your always good at meeting and talking to new people, something that I am NOT good at. I think we need to come down for a visit!

Elyse.Beard said...

Oh suzy....having goals to do things better is awesome. I make goals like that all the time and was only the new elyse for the 3rd and 4th months that we lived here. You know, after I stopped being sad and pathetic about being moved. I think you're great the way you are, but I liked the opportunity to change the parts of me that i've always wanted to change.

Fighting neighbors is always more entertaining, but I'll tell you something. I hope my baby has colic as payback for the neighbors above us who run up and down the halls as hard as they can from 10 pm to 2 am. Payback is a bitch.

The Belnaps said...

I love the real suzy..and mostly all of us are like her in more ways than you keep on going and apartments totally suck..I feel for you on that one..who cares if Cash have to listen to people fight..part of the deal living in an apartment..and cooking is overrated..especially with ppicky kids. Sometimes cereal is the best option...good luck

Janna said...

Hey Suzy - it sounds like things are going GREAT! :) At least this move hasn't taken your sense of humor. I go to Ed. Week at BYU every year and each time come home determined that everything is going to be perfect - cooking, cleaning, organization, my children, you name it. And, every year I really believe it will happen. I think that is why I love Ed wk so much - the believing in the magic - it's like Christmas for kids. Then, the bubble pops and voila! real life reappears. I guess that is why we just keep trying. I am sure you are doing a great job! :)

suzy said...

I miss all of you!! Randi...come visit asap. Elyse...I love that you aren't afraid to cuss in public. HAha. Ashley...I want to take pictures of that little baby when she comes out! I am so sad!! Janna...I miss your little family too! Gwen was just talking about your little boy a few days ago! We miss Richfield!

Donna said...

Ahhh Suzy . . . I read this post ad just smiled the whole time :) I miss you guys so much! You are such a delight and so funny. I like you just the way you are, never change! I mean it's okay to have goals and stuff, I have them to, but remember we love you just the way you are!!! AND also remember to move back to Richfield when you and Joey are done with your adventure. Love you all, and hope all is well in Arizona. Tell Joey and kids "hi" from the Beagley's and keep your chin up :)

Loriannie said...

When Lynn was born, he was really spoiled and about the time I decided he couldn't sleep with us anymore, we moved into an apartment. Everytime I let him cry, the neighbors would pound on the walls. I was intimidated in a new world so I just did all in my power to keep him quiet. I was 7 months pregnant, the air conditioner was broke and we had moved to HOUSTON from Montana. That was when you and i would read together every day while your sisters were at school. I bet you will look back someday and think how much fun you and Max had.
I always try to be a better version of me when we move. (Except this last time I said to myself,"This is probably as good as I get,and I didn't try to be different.) The results were the same, haha!
Most of us are faking it until we make it. That is how you learn what you can and can't do. You are so talented, I think you should write a book and make us all laugh!

Kristi said...

Hi Suzy,

I am completely overwhelmed with life right now, and reading blogs is my time waster, escape from reality. I stop in on yours every now and then and always enjoy it immensely. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. A new life in a new place with your new babe. I've been there and remember cringing every time our new baby cried in the middle of the night in our paper thin walled apt. One morning our elderly neighbor happened to pass by and I openly apologized for our crying baby up all hours of the night. He insisted he didn't ever hear her and that it was no problem. I knew this was a total lie since I distinctively heard him every night get up to use the bathroom. Yes, our walls were that thin. Oh well, I was happy he lied. Anyway, I've been there and get it and feel your pain and know you'll look back and have funny stories and memories about your apt. living. As they say, "this too shall pass." My life's issues are different, but the same as they're challenging. I vented to a good friend yesterday who shared a pretty good story about if we could all just wear a sign that told what we were going through, people would be kinder. It made me think I needed to be kinder too. Your post reminded me of this. The fake Suzy, you call her. I think faking it is a pretty good coping mechanism and find myself faking it a lot. Like if anyone came to my house right now and saw the enormous disaster in every single room, they would be appalled, but I'll drop my Kindergartner off today, smile and chat with the moms and totally fake that I have it ALL together, when I so totally do not! I am completely rambling now, and should end this comment before you stop reading anyway! I guess what I wanted to say is, you're not alone. Most everything you wrote in your post, I can relate to. We're all in this together. Keep on keeping on, you're doing the best you can.....and it's far better than you think! Remind yourself, also, that you're beautiful, funny, talented, and a great mom and wife, cuzy....YOU ARE! Kristi in Idaho (you do my Christmas card every year!)

Kristi said...

Sorry, I'm back! I found this right after I left my comment. I wanted to share.....

"one day in the midst of moving cross country with 4 small kids ages 12 weeks, 2, 4, and 6 i was telling my mother that i felt like i was never going to get it together.

her response? you won't. don't waste you time and energy feeling guilty about it. you never 'arrive' in life. it is a constant state of learning, stretching, changing and growing - and none of those involves peace. we can only create peace with how we approach those things. with hope, gratitude and optimism.

wise words that i have to remind myself of daily. we are all in some state of crazy in our lives. you are a good mom, a good person, and your life is good. hold onto those truths. that's all that matters."

Happy Day, Suzy.

Kristi in Idaho