I know you are all in suspense and checking the blog to see if today is the day that I tell you all of the amazing things that I did with my night with no children.
My first choice was to go to a movie. But I soon discovered that there were no movies that were the right length at the right times at the right theaters. Discouraged, I decided I should spend my child free time cleaning the house. But then I passed a Barnes and Noble and realized that one thing I NEVER get to do is spend time browsing through books. I am always stuck in the kid section because I feel like if I get too far away from my kids that someone will call the cops and I will get in trouble. Once I did venture a few stacks away from the entrance to the kid zone and Max came out frantically calling my name because he thought I had left him. I got a lot of bad mom looks for that one.
So I parked at Barnes and Noble and got right out of the car and walked in. Without a stroller.
I browsed a little. Then I thought that I better pick something and get to the business of relaxing with a book on one of the comfy looking chairs that I never get to sit on. (Why do they only have very small wooden benches in the kid section? Do they WANT you to leave your children unattended? Maybe I've been going about this B&N thing all wrong. Maybe I should ask what exactly their child leaving policies are.)
So I chose my regular go-to book on the history of English Queens and Kings. I also picked up an interesting volume on Lucretia Borgia. And then this cover caught my eye.
So I grabbed it and hurried to occupy an empty seat before it was gone. The way that the chairs were set up in a little circle made me a little uncomfortable. My legs were almost touching the legs of the other three people in my circle. They all looked a little uncomfortable too. Maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were reading. So I didn't look. I realized I was wasting my precious alone time and cracked my first book. I learned a few things about white chocolate (it is not actually chocolate at all!) Then I got kind of bored. So I read about Lucretia Borgia. It was interesting, but I knew I would need to go home and wiki everything about her before delving into her family history. So I found myself with 40 minutes left all to myself reading things about English monarchy that by now are so familiar to me that I could teach a class on it. That no one would sign up for.
I decided to get something to eat. I chose In N Out. I went through the drive thru. Because a fast food drive thru is something you never get to do with kids in tow. I am so lame that it is painful.
That's all I did. Except the embarrassing part when I was walking alone to my car in a pretty good part of town and I was convinced that the man walking very close to me was waiting for me to unlock my car so he could shove me in and kidnap me. Or steal my car and not kidnap me. Or pull a gun when I was climbing in and demand all my money. (In my defense he was walking REALLY close behind me for a long ways and acting suspicious.) But it turned out that he was only lost and couldn't remember where he parked his car.
So I learned that white chocolate is made from the fat of the cocoa bean and not technically chocolate at all. I also learned that life without your kids is just as awesome as life with your kids. And being alone at a bookstore is lame.