Tuesday, October 11, 2011

So Lame

I know you are all in suspense and checking the blog to see if today is the day that I tell you all of the amazing things that I did with my night with no children.

My first choice was to go to a movie. But I soon discovered that there were no movies that were the right length at the right times at the right theaters. Discouraged, I decided I should spend my child free time cleaning the house.  But then I passed a Barnes and Noble and realized that one thing I NEVER get to do is spend time browsing through books.  I am always stuck in the kid section because I feel like if I get too far away from my kids that someone will call the cops and I will get in trouble.  Once I did venture a few stacks away from the entrance to the kid zone and Max came out frantically calling my name because he thought I had left him.  I got a lot of bad mom looks for that one.

So I parked at Barnes and Noble and got right out of the car and walked in.  Without a stroller. 

I browsed a little.  Then I thought that I better pick something and get to the business of relaxing with a book on one of the comfy looking chairs that I never get to sit on.  (Why do they only have very small wooden benches in the kid section? Do they WANT you to leave your children unattended? Maybe I've been going about this B&N thing all wrong.  Maybe I should ask what exactly their child leaving policies are.)

So I chose my regular go-to book on the history of English Queens and Kings.  I also picked up an interesting volume on Lucretia Borgia.  And then this cover caught my eye.

So I grabbed it and hurried to occupy an empty seat before it was gone.  The way that the chairs were set up in a little circle made me a little uncomfortable.  My legs were almost touching the legs of the other three people in my circle.  They all looked a little uncomfortable too.  Maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were reading.  So I didn't look.  I realized I was wasting my precious alone time and cracked my first book.  I learned a few things about white chocolate (it is not actually chocolate at all!)  Then I got kind of bored.  So I read about Lucretia Borgia.  It was interesting, but I knew I would need to go home and wiki everything about her before delving into her family history.  So I found myself with 40 minutes left all to myself reading things about English monarchy that by now are so familiar to me that I could teach a class on it.  That no one would sign up for. 

I decided to get something to eat.  I chose In N Out.  I went through the drive thru. Because a fast food drive thru is something you never get to do with kids in tow.  I am so lame that it is painful.

That's all I did.  Except the embarrassing part when I was walking alone to my car in a pretty good part of town and I was convinced that the man walking very close to me was waiting for me to unlock my car so he could shove me in and kidnap me.  Or steal my car and not kidnap me.  Or pull a gun when I was climbing in and demand all my money.  (In my defense he was walking REALLY close behind me for a long ways and acting suspicious.)  But it turned out that he was only lost and couldn't remember where he parked his car.

So I learned that white chocolate is made from the fat of the cocoa bean and not technically chocolate at all.  I also learned that life without your kids is just as awesome as life with your kids.  And being alone at a bookstore is lame.

In related news..... Joey's cousin Elyse was reading this and I thought it looked good.  I mentioned on her blog that I tried to get it from the library, but that there were no available copies.  This weekend Joey's parents came to visit and their first night here we walked around Barnes and Noble for a bit.  The next morning Patty pulled this book out of a bag and said, "Oh...I forgot I bought this last night. You should read it and tell me what you think." This may have been completely coincidental.  But I choose to see an intentional and thoughtful mother in law.  Because even if this one incident was coincidental, she is still thoughtful and the best MIL that I ever could have dreamed up.  And the book was good.  Kinda creepy.  But then not as creepy but still interesting and a good read.


m+b said...

Oh my gosh I am the same way! If any male is walking behind me I immediatley think he is going to kidnap me, steal my car, or shoot me. My fears are probably because I watch the news so much and live in Philly, but still. New cities are scary, especially when they aren't Utah.

Elyse.Beard said...

It is a pretty good read huh? I felt like it was a mix between x-men and "the thief of always". Still good though. I liked the pictures. It's servin as part of my Halloween decor now.

You are not lame. It's hard to find stuff to do. I stay in bed till 11 and then get up to eat, then I read in my underwear on my couch until 3 with the blinds closed. Every. Day. THAT's lame.

cara lou said...

I say not lame!! Anytime I get to have some child-free time I usually go to the bookstore and read with a latte or I just take my own book to a cafe and read with a latte. Haha. If I could get something to eat I usually go get Indian or Vietnamese food and just relish in being able to eat in peace and quiet without having to police someone else's eating. :) Glad you got to enjoy a couple hours alone!

The Van Tassells said...

I'm sure when you are used to having three kids with you all of the time its hard to know what to do with yourself when you're alone! I probably would choose fast food and the bookstore as well!

Seth and Peggy said...

Okay so I totally blog stalked you. :) Did you really post this at 4:39 AM? Are you crazy? jk I have too many comments to leave in this little box. We will have to hang out soon!

suzy said...

Becca..I love that I am not alone in this irrational fear. And I love that your screen name is m+b. So cute.

Elyse...The pictures were cool and so creepy. Joey and I took turns getting in the hot tub one of the nights I was reading it and I felt like I wanted to run...it was right when you don't have a clue what's going on and it's just creepy. But I liked it. And can I say that I am in love with the fact that you read in your underwear on your couch until 3. I have 3 kids and I still do that.

Cara!! Congrats!! I keep meaning to send you a really long perfect message, but I am always on my phone when I think about it and I don't have an awesome apple or android operating system. So it's hard to do anything. But congrats!!!! I cannot wait to see what you do with the next one. I love the first one.

And Peggy....no fair stalking my blog when yours in private! Send me an invite!

Naomi...I keep meaning to ask and now is as good a time as any...Joey and I have been wondering if your husband is related to Senator Van Tassell from...hmmm...is it park city? Well is he related to any Utah senators?