Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Hotel Valley Ho

I got married 10 years ago.


To this boy in this temple.

I got us a room at Hotel Valley Ho in Scottsdale for our Anniversary.
I got a killer deal at hotel tonight and even got an upgrade to a suite when I checked in.
Also I got hit on for the first time in 10 years while I waited for Joey in the lobby.


My parents drove in for the weekend to watch the kids and help us move.
(Thank you!!)

So what have I learned in 10 years?

I've learned when I should keep my mouth shut.
I just haven't mastered the self control to actually keep it shut at appropriate times.

I've learned that marriage is a cruel cruel trick.  But necessary.  And who would do it if they weren't tricked into it?  And better than any alternative.

I've learned that I am annoying to live with.  I guess I learned that long before I was married (Sarah...Em...you know what I'm talking about), but I always thought I'd be a better roommate to a boy. I was wrong.  I'm lazy and messy and a hoarder sentimental  and impatient and wishy washy and completely unskilled.

When I met Joey I also had the privilege of getting to know his saint of a mother.

She is my idol.

I want to be just like her someday and when I am having an especially unskilled day I like to remember that she became her perfect present day self through a lot of trial and error.  (She told me that once, but sometimes I'm not sure I believe it.)  

So let's get to the point of what this has to do with what I've learned.

The other day we were having a rare moment where Joey was home while the kids were still awake.

Gwen had talked to her Grandma Patty on the phone that day and Grandma had told her some stories and told her to ask her dad about them.

So Gwen tells her stories to Joey and he is loving remembering those stories with her.  You can see it in his face.  Then when she finishes he says, "Do you want to know what Grandma didn't tell you about that?"  And goes on to tell even more details.  

Then he says,"Do you know what Grandma Patty is really good at?"

And with that same loving smile on his face he starts in on another story and the kids are loving it.

Joey LOVES his mother.

She has ALWAYS been his best friend.

He idolizes her just like I do.


So this is what I realized in that moment.

I don't know how much sense it will make when I put it into words.

Husbands don't matter. 

Of course they matter, but try to follow me here.

Do you think that when Patty's husband talks about her that his face lights up and he gets a grin from ear to ear just remembering funny moments they had together?

Maybe.

But throw a few kids in the mix and careers and bills and life and living together and everything else that comes with being married in real life for a LONG time and I'm gonna say no.

So husbands matter and you should keep trying everyday to impress them with new hair colors and straight teeth and learning to cook and other things that you have never had a desire to do if you were left to your own devices.  They will never be impressed.  But when your kids are older and they talk about you....they will be.

So be nice to your kids and if you can manage to make it through their teenage years without them hating you....everything else will be worth it.  They will always love you.

(And once in awhile you will be lucky enough to get a weekend away from those precious kids alone with the person you chose to make miserable and you will realize that you really are best friends....when the kids aren't whining and complaining and drowning out your sanity. And someday it will just be the two of you again...too soon.)

Probably some people won't understand my point and you are shaking your head and feeling sorry for me that my life is so miserable. But  it's  not.  I'm just honest and have no filters....at all the wrong times. :D


So thanks for choosing me Joey....I couldn't have found a smarter, more generous, honest, righteous and hard working person to go through this crappy life with.  And you're pretty handsome and stylish too.  And a really good dad....and teacher.  Wow....I'm starting to feel really bad that you are stuck with me.  Oh well....sucks to be you.

So now go ahead and tell me how wonderful your marriage is and what you do to keep the spark alive and how your husband sends you flowers every Tuesday and takes out the garbage without being asked and you never go to bed angry or ignore each other for days at a time.  Let's hear it.


And after 10 years he still won't smile for a picture.

Unless he is with a fish apparently.


13 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh Suzy, you make me laugh! Oh how I miss you! Cute post, and Joey is wayyy lucky to have you! You are awesome!

Elyse.Beard said...

Bahaha. Except with a fish. That's funny. Let's not talk about how long we can go without talking to the husband. Pretty sure I hold the record. Happy anniversary! Ten years is kind of a big deal

Sarah Jo said...

Your post made perfect sense to me, so I must be miserable too :) I liked that you mentioned me, I was hard to live with too- sorry about that. So happy you married your best friend and I married mine. Love you Suzy Q!

DD said...

I am going to have to say that Joey is the LUCKY one

Elaine said...

Happy 10th Anniversary, you two! And Suzy, you voiced my thoughts exactly! Wait til you have grandkids and they adore you because you are their grandma who loves to play games with them! Gary and I have been married 39 years - can you believe that?!?

Loriannie said...

I love that Max pointed out to me that I want to be Grandma Patty because my house is always a mess! I love your new house and had a great time with the kids and you. Joey and I did get about 5 minutes to visit, and I am proud of all his effort and hard work to become an attorney. You are a very hard worker, and I still can't beleive you hefted that very heavy box above your head!!!

Loriannie said...

I love that Max pointed out to me that I want to be Grandma Patty because my house is always a mess! I love your new house and had a great time with the kids and you. Joey and I did get about 5 minutes to visit, and I am proud of all his effort and hard work to become an attorney. You are a very hard worker, and I still can't beleive you hefted that very heavy box above your head!!!

Kikal said...

Let me tell you why not going to bed angry is crap. Because usually Steve and I are angry because we're just too tired and staying up late to fix things just breaks more things. So just go to bed and try in the morning. GET SOME SLEEP PEOPLE!

patty said...

Note to my children: Suzy did not have to live with me. Let her have her little fantasy.
Note to Suzy: Will you speak at my funeral?

Lori said...

She happens to be my idol too....and I love your little family more than I can tell you!

The Belnaps said...

I am not shaking my head..i totally agree..and don't worry..Joey is super, duper lucky to have you. And Nate and I barely have a spark left because we have a bajillion kids and his idea of a date, is to go look for golf balls but we both know that this crazy part of life will be gone in a second and one day we will be sad it's just us..hard to imagine but true..at least that's what we hear from all the empty-nesters right? happy anniversary!

Nat said...

Happy anniversary! I loved this post, and I'd smile if I caught a fish that big, too! :)

The Tinney's said...

I forgot we were married on the same day! Miss you Suze!