Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Yo Mama

A little while ago we were at an extended family function. 

The kids were all playing downstairs. 

Max came upstairs to tell me that Gwen was yelling at another kid and not one of her brothers. 

Oh boy. 

I walked into a room full of kids to find Gwen sobbing and distraught. 

I immediately feel kind of annoyed. 

"What's wrong?" I ask her. 

"He's calling me names." she says dramatically through her sobs. 

"Ok, sweetie, what names did he call you?" I can barely understand her through her sobs and all the while  I'm wondering when my kids will learn that words don't hurt?  Only sticks and stones do. 

"He said I was faaaatttttt!"

I start to explain to her that she is a pile of bones and skin,  no fat on her,  who cares what he says when you have a mirror to prove otherwise. 

She cuts me off, "No MOM! He said that YOU'RE fat!"

Wait a minute. 

"He said I'm fat?"

Yes, yes he did. Confirmed by all the other children in the room. 

"He says you're deaf too!"

Hold on. 

"He said I'm deaf?"  "What?!"

Also confirmed by eye witnesses.

It took me a few seconds to realize that Gwen had become prey to a little bit of "yo mama" style bullying. 

And it was the most effective type of bullying for this loyal when it matters most little girl. 

I had a good little chuckle and then another good laugh with Joey when I retold it later. 

Also I feel old. I have a child old enough to have peers who say things like, "your mom is so fat..." And they're talking about me! I'm the mom in the joke. Never thought I'd make it this far. 


The Johnsons said...

That made me laugh! She is growing up fast, isn't it crazy we have kids this old? I miss you, let's do lunch soon!

Layne Prince said...

That is crazy! I never really thought of it in that way. Or that someone would involve my sister as the punchline to a mama joke :p

Sarah Jo said...

I didn't know you were blogging again! I can't believe we are old enough to deal with this kind of stuff. You are a better mom than I am though, when kids started telling Connor "Your Mom is..." jokes I taught him a whole bunch to say right back, yep, I'm that mom.