Sunday, May 10, 2015

🎶Love, Love, Love, Love, Love

When I was in college I was dating the cutest boy I'd ever met. The first older boy to ever pay any attention to me. He was absolutely perfect in my eyes and for some reason he liked me back and wanted to spend time with me. I waited a full two months before I told him that I loved him. When he didn't say it back right away I tried not to be offended. But when he asked me why I thought I loved him...that was too much.

He wanted me to think and explain myself?
Looking back I can't help but wonder how I got so lucky to marry such a thoughtful and intelligent boy.

Completely unrelated to this unreturned declaration of love, I've come to dislike this word.

Love.

What DOES it mean?

It comes up a lot in the world we live in. Most of the songs we hear on the radio are about it. And what are they talking about?  Most of it is gibberish.

Sometimes people say it when they're acting in a way that would seem contrary. As if it is a cure all bandage word. And what do they mean by it?

I've been thinking about this word a lot lately. When I'm fighting with my darling husband and I tell him I love him I feel like a fraud.  Does it mean I respect him? I bet he feels loved and respected when I'm screaming and crying. (Really though,  can you picure me screaming and crying?  ;) I would NEVER. ) I ponder on what the word means when a silly song comes on the radio or when I'm watching a movie that is clearly not what love is about.

And then C.S. Lewis addressed it perfectly in his book,  The Problem with Pain.


"By Love, most of us mean kindness—the desire to see others than the self happy. And not happy in this way, or in that; just happy. What most of us mean by God is not so much a Father in Heaven, as a grandfather in heaven—a senile old benevolence who, as they say, liked to see the young people enjoying themselves, and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be said at the end of each day, that a good time was had by all.
...
Love demands the perfecting of the beloved (the growth, betterment, healing, improvement, uprightness, and goodness of the beloved). Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them; but Love cannot cease to will their removal. Love is more sensitive than even hatred itself to every blemish in the beloved. Love forgives constantly but condones least. Love is pleased with little, but demands all.
The mere kindness which tolerates anything except pain and suffering in its object is, in that respect, at the opposite pole from Love. In other words, there is kindness in Love, but Love and kindness are not coterminous. When kindness is separated from the other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, only that it escapes suffering. Personally, I do not think that I should value much the “love” of a friend who cared only for comfort and happiness and did not object to my becoming dishonest.
Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness."
I have had a warped idea of what love is and means my whole life. And now that my brain is ready for the truth it is changing my life. 
Until next week when I forget everything I learned listening to Mr. Lewis in my car this week.  :/

Now tell me what love means to you? What are you really saying when you tell someone you love them? 






1 comment:

Layne Prince said...

Love to me is a trust in someone or thing. I find in my life more and more that that is all I mean when I saw it. George Washington Carver once said that "If you love something enough it will give up its secrets." and I believe that that is true. Not that it will tell you anything but love is trusting that you aren't wasting your time being with someone. If you trust something enough that you spend all your time studying it then all of it's secrets will be yours. Or if you trust someone enough they tend to end up trusting you back. I think that is love. But alas I'm a lowly man with no education so...