suzy homemaker

Belated Secrets

2012-01-10T00:33:00.001-07:00

I whipped this up as we were heading out the door for Utah a lot of weeks ago.

(It was a crazy few days of packing and nails in tires and well...I think that is enough to make things crazy.)

I copied it to dropbox so that I could upload it from Joey's laptop once we reached our destination.

After we made it to Utah, I powered up the ~~trusty~~ old laptop to find a blank screen.

We can hear it thinking very loudly, but there are no lights on in that head.

Soooo.....here is our last minute - now late - digital only - Christmas card.

This was a rough year for getting things done.

(every year is a rough one for accomplishments when you are L-A-Z-Y)

AND IN RELATED NEWS

.........................

This year we had a super thoughtful SECRET SANTA.

We were never quick enough to catch them.

BUT since I have almost NO friends and our first gift was an apartment perfect, toddler proof, little Christmas tree AND the only people who could know about our SAD SAD little ribbon Christmas tree are people reading my blog, I thought I would send out a big giant THANK YOU from here to our sweet secret SANTA.

This may seem as belated as our Christmas Card, but we got out last delivery just tonight, so I thought it would be appropriate.

THANK YOU!

Utah is COLD

2011-12-06T11:58:00.001-07:00

Since we couldn't make it to Hawaii for Thanksgiving this year with the rest of the Carlson clan I thought I might finally have to cook my own Thanksgiving dinner.

But Joey's aunt Lori graciously invited us to their feast in Cedar City.

Joey couldn't make it because his first final was the monday after Thanksgiving.

But we ditched him and went anyway.

He was invited by a study groupie to his Grandma's house.

Awkward.

That's how I would have felt at least.

But Joey never feels awkward.

And he loves to flirt with old women.

And he didn't have to eat a turkey made by me.

I didn't get a SINGLE picture except with my camera phone.

AND of other people and their children.

This is Lori and Brian's newest grandbaby, Austin.

She was blessed while we were there and I couldn't resist a few shots of a sleeping baby in a living room with perfect lighting.

Gwen lost her third tooth while we were there. Nana pulled it out and I was so sad that I missed it AGAIN!

But then she lost her other front tooth a few days later and I got to pull it out.

Yay! Now Gwen has another memory with me besides just getting yelled at.

We got to spend a little time with my parents and my sisters in St. George. They all thoroughly spoiled us and sent us home with a trunk load of Christmas presents. I still haven't bought a single gift. I better get started.

We had tons of fun in Cedar City. I felt a little awkward for a tiny little second when I realized that it was the whole Whitney/Tavoian/Beard clan plus me and the kids. But there was nowhere I'd rather be. They have always been so good to us and treat us like they like us. And that is hard to come by.

We did a super super quick family photo shoot. But that will have to wait until Cash goes down for another nap today.

Then we headed to South Jordan where we had less than a day to pack our whole house and get it in storage. My mom spent way too much money on packing supplies and came up to help out. My brother Luke and his pregnant wife came over and watched the kids while I helped my mom spend her money. Joey's aunt Susan came over early and just completely saved the day. She pretty much packed the house all by herself and some of us helped a little. Her husband came over after work and got busy helping. Joey's uncle Mark came with a trailer and hauled it all to a storage unit for me. I think he took 100 trips. I felt pretty dumb about the whole thing, but mostly just so GRATEFUL for such wonderful family! My cousin Ryan drove all the way from St. George to help out and my sister came to help me clean the next day. And of course my "teenagers" Kayleigh and Viva whisked the kids away and I didn't even have to worry about them.

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!

This was the kids on the trip back to Utah.

This was taken before we realized that my evil GPS took us on a long and windy scenic route.

I hate her.

Cash learned a few weeks ago that he loves to hear the sound of himself shrieking.

The sound of Cash shrieking makes Gwen sob uncontrollably.

Max has a teeny tiny bladder. And he takes his shoes off promptly after getting into the car.

And throws them places. Never to be found again.

This makes gas station clothing changes more difficult than they should be.

To make things so much worse I overheard someone at the counter at McDonald's say, "Syphilis, the gift that keeps on giving..." just as the girl handed us our food out the drive-thru window.

Of course we all got stomach aches and the kids got carsick.

I hope that's all we got.

When Max was feeling considerably carsick with his window rolled down he said, "MMMOOOOOOMMMMM........why didn't you just say no?" (Referring to McDonalds).

It was the worst ride of my life.

(That probably isn't true. We went on lots of van rides to remote places growing up.)

Meet our sad little Christmas tree.

But it was so easy to put up and the clean up will be just as nice.

Have your kids ever puked in your car?

Have you ever puked in the car?

Neither have ever happened to me, but I can see it in my future.

So tell me how to deal with it?

Well enough screaming ensure that it never happens again?

Tomatoes

2011-11-18T15:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes...

when a baby wakes up at midnight and you're just getting home from school, you get them out of bed to play.

And get some kisses.

And blow on tummies.

And watch tv.

And to share sweet pork salad.

(Not pictured...)

After the babe was back in bed Joey asked how I thought that diaper was going to look. (He had a lot of tomatoes.)

Fast forward 8 hours.

We are trying to get out of the door in under 2 minutes.

(We know down to the second when we have to leave the house without Gwenny being late for school.)

I am busy making a ham sandwich as fast as I can.

Gwen walks into the kitchen and says in her snottiest teenage voice, "MOM! WHY DID YOU GET ME DIRTY CLOTHES TO WEAR TO SCHOOL? THERE IS STUFF ALL OVER THESE!"

(Nevermind that she is 7 and should be getting her own clothes out the closet and definitely not yelling at me for waiting on her hand and foot....)

I get a little closer and discover that she has poop all over her uniform shirt and black pants.

Fresh poop.

So I rush her into the bathroom to clean her up and change her clothes.

Then while I am trying to clean up the baby in record time, Max walks over and mimicking his sisters tone says, "Mom...there's poop on my clothes too!"

Sure enough...fresh poop...on his shorts.

I clean up poop like a pro and Gwen was only 1 minute late for school. Max was 15 minutes early, but that i

s a whole other story.

And THAT is what happens when you feed a baby lots of tomatoes in the middle of the night.

Head wounds and plastic surgeons

2011-11-09T18:40:00.001-07:00

My baby Cash had one of these on his head for a few months.

It started out as a tiny little red spot.

People said it was the beginnings of a mole.

And then it grew.

And grew.

Then one day he started rolling over.

And this started happening everyday.

So we took him to his pediatrician.

She referred us to a specialist...

who couldn't get him in until a few months AFTER we moved to Arizona.

So I called a specialist in Arizona.

They asked for my insurance and that is when I realized that our insurance was only good in Utah.

What a headache.

In the meantime we got lots of weird looks when our baby's head would start to bleed randomly at the museum or the grocery store.

A girl at the gym asked if he had a booger on his head. Really? A booger?

So I gave him an awesome haircut around his protrusion so that we could keep a band-aid on it.

I called every doctor I could find who might be able to help me.

I finally found one who had an opening sometime before Cash turned 2.

The morning of his appointment I put him in the tub to change his band-aid and clean up his head wound.

And guess what?

That darn thing that had been tormenting us for MONTHS just fell right off.

I rushed over to my mother in law who was planning on watching the other kids and we decided I should still take him in...just in case.

So I did.

They looked at it and decided that the best thing to do was to get it lasered off and quickly before it had a chance to grow back.

So they referred me to a laser specialist.

What a pain.

By this time Joey had moved to Arizona and I was husbandless.

It was a big production.

I had to farm the other kids out.

I had to drive all the way downtown.

I had to leave super early just in case.

I had to drug the poor baby up beforehand.

I had to fill out lots of papers and sit around in the waiting room for an hour.

Then I had to sit in the office for another half an hour.

Then the doctor came in.

Here is how the next 45 seconds went:

Doctor, "Well why don't we wait a few weeks and see if it grows back?"

Me, "Well I'm moving to Arizona in 9 days so I'd really like to get it taken care of today if we could."

Doctor: thinking how it is almost time for lunch says, "Well that gives you 9 days to see what happens, doesn't it?"

Now I'm trying not to cry. Cause when I am frustrated that is what I do. So I try another approach, "The doctor that referred me said it was already growing back and that is why he referred me to you to have it lasered."

Doctor, "Yeah. Let's wait and see what happens."

Me, "um...ok."

As the doctor leaves the room the nurse looks nervous and asks him how much to charge me for the visit.

He looks at her bewildered and says, "Just the regular consultation fee."

It has been 3 months since that visit.

And the angioma on Mr. Cash's head has been growing back slowly but surely for a little over 2 months.

And he likes to give open mouth kisses.

Luckily his hair has grown out since the weird little trim I gave him.

Did anyone notice that Joey got a haircut?!

Disclaimer: That "consultation" fee will go toward the laser procedure but I have to go back downtown to his office in Salt Lake City. But he did assure me that if it grew back after I had moved that they could give me an excellent referral in Arizona.

Halloweenies

2011-11-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

This was a weird Halloween for our family.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and Joey has always been a good sport and helped to make it fun.

A few years ago he came home for lunch on Halloween day and said that we were going to dress up.

Click here to reminisce with me about the robot year. It was fun until Joey took Max home cause he was still a baby who didn't care about trick or treating and I was a lone robot in a giant silver box with dryer hoses that made walking very slow and difficult.

The next year was my favorite. Click here to see the most awesome super hero family around.

Last year was kinda lame on my part, but you can read how Max ruined it for me by clicking here.

This year Joey is in law school. He is home for about 9 hours a day and most of those are spent sleeping. For some reason we let Max be in charge around here. What can I say, he's a stubborn little man. HE wanted to be something from Star Wars. So all my lame brain could come up with was that we would all be something from Star Wars.

But Joey suggested that we should be a family of Vaders.

It was a good idea...but without him around to direct the costume making, it turned out lame.

(Thanks to everyone who lent us their Vader masks...I promise to get them back to you soon!)

3 days before Halloween

Max had a preschool party and we got to try out our costumes.

FAIL. Masks are a bad idea. For anyone. Because who wants to wear one for more than 5 minutes?

And my costume kinda depended on it.

People were wondering before the party even started why I was wearing an apron.

Was I a housewife?

And since my contacts were bothering me it probably looked like I was a battered housewife.

This is a cute boy from our new ward who was at the party. He was so photogenic, I couldn't help myself.

I thought we could pull it off better as a family. We had a ward trunk or treat that same night. Who can mistake 5 Vader masks?

But once again....masks are a bad idea. Especially when your identity depends on it.

2 days before Halloween we went to a Halloween party at the Cincinnati Reds practice ball park.

Gwen didn't want to be Vader. Joey couldn't make it. I didn't want to bother with costumes for Cash and myself. So Max borrowed a costume from his friend.

And Gwen was a Monster High Doll

By Halloween it was all a shambles. There were parts of costumes strewn around our itty bitty apartment. Gwen had a party at school but couldn't have any unnatural colors in here hair nor could she wear a mask. Joey had a back up idea of being our own "evil twins". It mainly consisted of wearing a mustache and making evil faces. So Gwen mixed her back up idea of cowgirl with Joey's back up idea and here is her costume.

By trick or treating time we were total lame-o's.

What is your best costume idea ever?

NEW BREED

2011-11-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

The kids and I traveled to Scottsdale yesterday to get Joey's computer fixed at the Apple store.

As we walked by this window display at the MAC store, Max says, "Mom? What kind of people are they?"

Come on.

Kids ask too many questions.

I was hungry and desperately trying to find somewhere non-sit down and/or non pretentious to take my hungry/crazy children to eat.

And I seldom know how to answer Max's questions.

So I said something like, "I don't know honey..." or "just a second..."

I honestly can't even remember.

I don't think he was listening or expecting an answer anyway because immediately he started running to catch up to Gwen.

While he ran he yelled, "GWEN! GWEN! WE SAW SOME PEOPLE WHAT WERE HALF BOY AND HALF GIRL!!"

Love him.

Don't love the underboob.

But maybe he didn't notice that.

MAXO

2011-10-24T23:02:00.000-06:00

Max turned 5!

When we named Max I was always worried that people would call him "Maxi" which I think sounds really girly. And then I started worrying even more that if people called him "Maxi" what was stopping them from calling him "Maxi Pad"?

So silly I know, but I put a stop to that before it had a chance to happen by directing people to use the alternate nickname of "Maxo" if I heard "Maxi" come out of anyones mouth.

Of course he hasn't gotten to 6th grade yet, so we'll see if my worst nickname nightmares come true.

(In related news Gwen told us yesterday that she HATES a boy at school because he insists on calling her "Larry". I tried explaining to her about how boys flirt in 2nd grade and then to prove me wrong she spilled the whole story. One of her teachers accidentally (??) called her Larry when they were calling the roll one day... and now the kids can't seem to forget. A teacher called her Larry?)

Well anyway, Max-o turned 5 last week.

He is a pretty easy going little man and wouldn't give me much help planning a party.

Except to tell me that he didn't want to invite anyone from preschool or his primary class.

Except his best Arizona friend Max.

I won't drag it out cause I've learned that no one cares about the details.

We went to a big warehouse full of trampolines.

Then we went to McDonald's.

(This is Gwen and Max's brother Griffen....more on that later.)

Max got lots of gifts....thanks everyone who thought of Max on his special day!

One of his favorites was the bag of rubber bands that I his sister bought him to make a rubber band ball.

Here are some pictures of fun things we did before we put Gwen back in school...now we sit around and wait for her to get out of school...and then we are so tired from sitting around that we sit around some more.

Phoenix Children's Museum

(pre-haircut)

Indoor swap meet by our house that will paint anything you want on your face for free

Railroad Park in Scottsdale

Awesome Lego Store in the mall.

(We had to leave after a few minutes...they sell any piece you could dream of out of these little bins. So perfect for little hands to slip into their pockets.)

I bought this cheap little vacuum perfect for apartment vacuuming. After I got it out of the box Max saw it with its little handle in the storing position. (The handle retracts like 2 inches...cause it would be super hard to store otherwise.) He automatically assumed that I bought a little boy vacuum for him. Score. Both of my kids have always been scared of the vacuum... and now it's their new favorite pastime. (Any tips on how to de-scarify them of flushing the toilet?)

This is Max's Halloween costume.

One day while we were getting into our very hot car and trying to remember if we forgot anything before we drove out of our very hot parking lot, Max was asking a million questions.

His newest game is to say the first sounds of a word and make you guess what he is going to say.

(Ba...ba...ba...Mom...guess what I'm going to say?)

It is impossible and he doesn't let you give up.

So while I was trying to find the keys he won't quit this game and I got impatient and told him to hold on until we got on the road.

He was quiet for a second and then said, "Mom...I feel like you are turning into the devil."

I started to laugh and looked back at him to apologize and this is what I saw...

He is a funny little man.

Since then he routinely tells me that I am letting the devil control me when I need it most.

I took this picture while I was trying to indoctrinate him into being Darth Vader for Halloween.

~~Joey~~ We had a brilliant idea for family Halloween costumes this year, but it's always kind of tricky to get Max to go along with it. Remember how we were supposed to be super villains last year to go along with the super hero family that we were the year before? Gwen was the white witch from Narnia, I was pregnant and lame store bought Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Joey was Skeletor from He-Man? And at the last minute Max decided that he WOULD NOT be a bad guy. So he was He-man to go along with Joey....which left Gwen still looking cute in her original homemade costume and me looking like a weirdo.

Well not this year. I was determined to make him conform.

Since he is too young to watch Star Wars, I took him on a drive where he was less likely to get away from me and told him the whole story of Star Wars. Then we came home and watched all my favorite parts on Youtube. That did it.

This picture is of him using the force to stop me from taking pictures.

This one is one of my all time favorites.

We were on a long car drive to the mall.

I looked over and he was asleep and it looked so cute so I took a picture.

After 20 minutes or so I heard giggling.

He was pretending to be asleep.

He is dedicated.

More to come on our awesome Halloween costumes!! (I hope they're awesome. Joey is the brains behind Halloween and although he came up with the idea, he is at school 14/6 so it is up to me to make it happen. I have never been very good at making things happen.)

PLEASE TELL ME....

1.What horrible nicknames can you imagine mean kids coming up with for my remaining children? What nicknames have you been called or have been afraid your kids would be called?

2.What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

Sad.

2011-10-20T22:43:00.000-06:00

My card reader is broken.

It won't upload my pictures.

And I have birthday pictures to post.

It's my only card reader.

Isn't it just like LIFE that as quick as you can check things off of your "to do" list, something happens and you have three new things to add?

Well...Max turned 5.

I guess I'll blog about it after I buy a new card reader.

My kids are in bed and I accomplished a lot today.

But for some reason I just got really sad.

Can I be that honest on here?

Sad for no reason.

I might even cry.

Probably not though.

What makes you sad?

Apartment Life

2011-10-14T15:01:00.001-06:00

It is gross to know who lived in an apartment before you.

If you never meet the previous tenants you can pretend that it was a nice little family with a superclean mom.

But once you know, you will always picture them while you are cleaning the toilets.

And when you notice the spackle around the doorknob of a bedroom, a telltale sign of domestic discontent.

Or when you have to unplug the bathroom sink and lots of gross unidentifiable things wash up into your sink.

It was my idea to live in an apartment. Joey resisted. I thought it would be a fun adventure. Less responsibility, more time with the kids. I also envisioned how quickly it would be to tidy up. (My imagination neglected to conjure up images of how easy it would also be to untidy up and how there would be nowhere to put things....so they go on the floor.)

The first few weeks we moved in, we got a lot of mail from previous occupants. We learned that it was 2 or 3 boys living here. Boys are gross. Especially with no girls to clean up after them. We learned that we frequent the same gym. After Max started opening their mail we also learned that they had been evicted. I am aware that opening mail is a felony or something. (I sound pretty aware, huh?) This is why when an envelope was opened containing a refund check from a community college I didn't know what to do. Admit that I opened it and that I would really like to find who the check belonged to, because I would want someone to do the same for me. The office had no forwarding information. Google searches came up with my own address. So I held on to it and planned on at least calling the school to let them know they should try to find him somewhere else. Before I could do that (4 weeks is not long enough to get around to such things.) I had a visitor. The kids and I had just gotten home from the pool and I was directing them a little louder than I probably should in an apartment building when there was a knock at the door. I was instantly annoyed thinking for sure it would be neighbors asking us to keep it down and I would have to be all polite and apologize and make empty promises. Instead it was a 20 something man with bigger gauges in his ears than I have ever seen, baggy pants and a wife beater tank top.

Our first visitor in Arizona.

(I will admit that in the time it took him to start talking I had already come up with a plan of attack and our escape route.)

It turns out that the refund check belonged to him. I was so relieved because I really did worry once in awhile that this poor young man who was evicted was in need of a little cash. And he wasn't even angry that we had opened his mail. Lots of it.

But now when I clean the house and find weird/gross things that probably came from my own darling children, I can only picture that ~~nice~~ young man with giant holes in his ears.

We had more visitors today. I answered the door and two pretty and professionally dressed ladies were standing at my door.

They flashed some badges and told me they needed to ask me some questions. I probably should have asked them some questions before I started informing like a communist on my neighbors. Since I have only seen them a few times when we happen to leave our apartments at the same time, I don't think I could do much damage. But I still should have thought twice when they asked me if it was alright to put my name down on the record. Oh naive little Suzy. Well...I hope we don't get murdered in our beds.

So Lame

2011-10-11T04:39:00.000-06:00

I know you are all in suspense and checking the blog to see if today is the day that I tell you all of the amazing things that I did with my night with no children.

My first choice was to go to a movie. But I soon discovered that there were no movies that were the right length at the right times at the right theaters. Discouraged, I decided I should spend my child free time cleaning the house. But then I passed a Barnes and Noble and realized that one thing I NEVER get to do is spend time browsing through books. I am always stuck in the kid section because I feel like if I get too far away from my kids that someone will call the cops and I will get in trouble. Once I did venture a few stacks away from the entrance to the kid zone and Max came out frantically calling my name because he thought I had left him. I got a lot of bad mom looks for that one.

So I parked at Barnes and Noble and got right out of the car and walked in. Without a stroller.

I browsed a little. Then I thought that I better pick something and get to the business of relaxing with a book on one of the comfy looking chairs that I never get to sit on. (Why do they only have very small wooden benches in the kid section? Do they WANT you to leave your children unattended? Maybe I've been going about this B&N thing all wrong. Maybe I should ask what exactly their child leaving policies are.)

So I chose my regular go-to book on the history of English Queens and Kings. I also picked up an interesting volume on Lucretia Borgia. And then this cover caught my eye.

So I grabbed it and hurried to occupy an empty seat before it was gone. The way that the chairs were set up in a little circle made me a little uncomfortable. My legs were almost touching the legs of the other three people in my circle. They all looked a little uncomfortable too. Maybe they didn't want anyone to see what they were reading. So I didn't look. I realized I was wasting my precious alone time and cracked my first book. I learned a few things about white chocolate (it is not actually chocolate at all!) Then I got kind of bored. So I read about Lucretia Borgia. It was interesting, but I knew I would need to go home and wiki everything about her before delving into her family history. So I found myself with 40 minutes left all to myself reading things about English monarchy that by now are so familiar to me that I could teach a class on it. That no one would sign up for.

I decided to get something to eat. I chose In N Out. I went through the drive thru. Because a fast food drive thru is something you never get to do with kids in tow. I am so lame that it is painful.

That's all I did. Except the embarrassing part when I was walking alone to my car in a pretty good part of town and I was convinced that the man walking very close to me was waiting for me to unlock my car so he could shove me in and kidnap me. Or steal my car and not kidnap me. Or pull a gun when I was climbing in and demand all my money. (In my defense he was walking REALLY close behind me for a long ways and acting suspicious.) But it turned out that he was only lost and couldn't remember where he parked his car.

So I learned that white chocolate is made from the fat of the cocoa bean and not technically chocolate at all. I also learned that life without your kids is just as awesome as life with your kids. And being alone at a bookstore is lame.

In related news..... Joey's cousin Elyse was reading this and I thought it looked good. I mentioned on her blog that I tried to get it from the library, but that there were no available copies. This weekend Joey's parents came to visit and their first night here we walked around Barnes and Noble for a bit. The next morning Patty pulled this book out of a bag and said, "Oh...I forgot I bought this last night. You should read it and tell me what you think." This may have been completely coincidental. But I choose to see an intentional and thoughtful mother in law. Because even if this one incident was coincidental, she is still thoughtful and the best MIL that I ever could have dreamed up. And the book was good. Kinda creepy. But then not as creepy but still interesting and a good read.

Church is good.

2011-09-23T17:51:00.002-06:00

In an hour I will take my kids to the church for a 3 hour primary practice/pizza party. I am counting down the minutes! I feel a little bad for anyone who has callings in the primary as there are something like 120 kids in our ward. The icing on the cake (frosting on the cake? I prefer frosting...cream cheese frosting.) will be when I also drop Mr. Cash off with a friend for the duration of the primary party. (I traded babysitting and although I feel weird dropping him off for no reason, she insisted.)

So now I will be without children for 3 hours. I might go to a movie. Or maybe I will take a nap. Maybe I will go to a movie and take a nap in their comfy seats while I sip a soda and eat a pretzel. I might end up doing nothing, but I am so excited to drive in my car all alone. And I am getting giddy at the thought of parking my car and getting out....and walking directly into the building! No waiting for little children to decide while you wait in the heat that it's finally time to take their seatbelt off. ("It won't come off! Help! It's stuck!"... "Just a second...just let me finish this page!") No lugging and unfolding strollers and unstrapping and strapping and unstrapping. No holding a baby while you push an empty stroller.

What would you do if you had 3 hours all to yourself?

(Hurry...I only have an hour to come up with something amazing. This may never happen again!)

What am I DOING?

2011-09-13T13:39:00.003-06:00

My mother in law once said that you should always live your life intentionally.

It is some of the best advice I've ever gotten.

I have yet to take the advice, but I think about it a lot.

When Gwen started 1st grade I started to see the wisdom in Joey's constant harping about homeschooling our children someday.

I didn't have a problem with her school, or her teacher. I loved her teacher and so did she.

The problems I have with public school are:
1. It's too long. I don't have a problem waking up early if it is needed, but if school starts at 8 a.m., it should get over by 1 at the latest. Take out 1 of the 3 recesses. Take out the lunch and 2 recesses and send them home by 12. Or start at 9 or 10 and go until 3...put the lunch back in.

The problem that I have with how long school is, is that I don't have any time to influence my child's life. She is only with me for a few hours everyday before it's time for bed.

And I hate that the school is catered now to families with two working parents. I am not passing judgement on working parents at all. But I feel like someone who chooses to stay home with their children is punished or at least put at an extreme disadvantage as far as this goes.

2. I specifically had a problem toward the end of 1st grade when Gwen started not meeting math goals that she had been exceeding all year long. I asked if there was a problem and it turned out that the problem was that she had gotten as far as she could in 1st grade math. She was hitting a wall where she needed to learn 2nd grade math. I was told they were starting a new class for a few kids who were having the same problem. But it never happened.

If my child is home with me, I can teach them on the level they are on, no matter what it is.

3. It is not a normal social situation for a 7 year old to spend 7+ hours a day with 20-30 other 7 year olds. At what other time in life will you be surrounded by so many peers that are exactly at your age and maturity level? This was where I had my #1 problem. My sweet, kind, loving, considerate Gwenny got such an attitude and started being so mean to her little brother. There are other factors that contributed, but I am going to place the blame right there for the most part.

So those are the biggest problems I had.

I decided when we moved away for law school that I would try out homeschooling. We wouldn't know anyone yet, so I wouldn't be ripping her away from friends or a teacher she loved.

Then I found k12 and in Arizona it is a free program because it is essentially still a public school, just online. So she gets her work done fast because she has one teacher focusing on just her. Then we are free to do whatever we want the rest of the day. She can get her social interaction at church and the park and the grocery store, etc. And she can learn at whatever speed she wants to. No holding back because of other students and no going ahead with something if she doesn't fully understand it.

(@ The Phoenix Childrens Museum...we got to go while most kids are still at school.)

Sounds perfect, right?

WELL...

On Sunday after we spoke, a nice gentleman came to tell us that he enjoyed our talks. He told us that he was just visiting, and we thought that was very nice of a visitor to take the time to come and talk to us.

Then in primary, the song leader told me that I had met her new boss. She is the new choir director for a performing arts charter school that was opening the next day.

So yesterday I went to check it out. My new gentleman friend came right up to us and recognized us. He took us on a tour and took Gwen into the 2nd grade classroom and introduced her. When I stopped in the office to pick up some paperwork, Gwen started to cry because she couldn't start right then and there.

So it was decided. I loved having her home, we were free to do as we pleased and she helped a lot. But I have been feeling guilty that I am trapping my little social butterfly in a 3 bedroom apartment all day and we have no friends. Max and I love to sit at home alone. But not Gwen.

So we drove around all day yesterday shopping for her new uniform wardrobe.

And I felt melancholy all day.

And now Cash is napping and Max is vegging out to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and without Gwen's school, all I have to do is clean up the house. So it should stay pretty clean now. Except I feel weird about sending Gwen and I don't know why, but I don't want to clean. I want to sit on my bed and feel sorry for myself. I'm sure it will be just like last year (to rehash that one, click here) and I will have a bad day, but when she gets home she will be so excited and I will be relieved that she didn't even think about us once.

We have play date after school, so that's good. I will HAVE to shower. And put on lots of jewelry.

Other big news. We found a BLACK WIDOW in the kitchen last night. It was living under the edge of the counter THAT WE USE AS OUR TABLE!! Because we don't have a table. It's not even a real bar, just a regular counter, so that spider was probably tickling Max's little legs and Cash's little baby toes everyday while they ate. I don't even want to admit that Max has complained a few times about not wanting to sit by the cobwebs. Worst thing ever. I don't think Joey slept a wink last night.

Fake Suzy

2011-09-12T00:04:00.002-06:00

This was the picture that popped up when I googled "fake suzy"

Joey texted me last Saturday and told me that he got a phone call and we had been asked to speak in Sacrament. My whole philosophy here in Arizona is "fake it 'til you make it". (Or something like that...I don't think I've actually said those words.) So things that are normally out of my comfort zone I am totally pretending are no big deal. I texted him back and said, "Oh good."

I don't like public speaking. Who does really? Joey does. Kayleigh does. Gwen does. They are weird. No one likes it. Since it will only be our 3rd weed in this ward, my job is mainly to introduce our family. So I stressed more about what I was going to do with my kids while we were speaking than I did about actually thinking about what I would say. On Friday night the subject came up and Joey told me that I really should prepare SOMETHING because we were given slightly different topics.

So I buckled down and spent my Saturday preparing a talk. It was mostly plagiarized. And it didn't do much in the way of introducing us. I thought that would be kind of funny in an odd way. Mostly it would have just been weird now that I think about it. When Joey got home he kindly suggested that I go another way with it. So I did. It turned out that we only had 15 minutes between the two of us and I took 10 of them. This is only the second time I have had to speak in sacrament in the last 9 years and we have been in 6 different wards.

Other things I've been faking since we moved here:

That I didn't hate Joey in high school. I decided it is not a very flattering story for either of us. So I changed it. Now we have a sweet love story and everyone will think we are so precious. Being funny isn't the most important thing.

I wear a lot of jewelry when we go places. I always feel like women who wear jewelry to the grocery store must have it all figured out.

I get the kids ready for church. I mean, they have always gone to church in Sunday clothes, but there have been times while sitting in Sacrament and I get a good look at them that I am embarrassed. So...Gwen is not allowed to choose her own clothes...not for church at least. And hair brushing is a must. Max is required to wear socks. So far it is working out. And for the last 2 weeks I have gone to Relief Society and sat by complete strangers, instead of in the corner. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with that one.

I set up play dates with other homeschooling (k12ing) moms and pretend like I am totally comfortable when I really wish I could sit there and read a book while my children play instead of talking to a stranger.

I had resolved to truly be Suzy Homemaker when we moved here as well. To really just be a different person and quit making a joke of my complete ineptitude where domestic abilities are concerned. I was going to cook a good meal every night and be pleasant no matter what and keep a spotless house and drive my kids to karate and piano lessons and teach them everything they will ever need to know from home and to never raise my voice.

I didn't take into account that no matter what I change...no one else is going to change. Max will still refuse to eat anything I cook...no matter how long it took to prepare. Gwen will still cry every single time she sees a comb...no matter how tenderly I brush. Cash will still wake up at 4:30 every morning...no matter how tired I am. And inevitably I will still raise my voice...no matter who is listening through the paper thin walls of our apartment. I also didn't take into account the heat and how it would make me extra impatient when small legs take their dear sweet time getting out of the car at the store while the rest of us wait.

It was also a bad idea to mention my plan to Joey. But when he noticed that things were pleasantly different around the house, I was so excited that my evil plan was working that I HAD to tell someone. Of course then that leaves room for the other person to ask, "What happened to the new Suzy?" anytime things go a little of course.

So new Suzy didn't last long. But fake Suzy is still alive and well whenever we venture out into the real world.

NOW TELL ME.....
Have you ever lived in an apartment with a baby? How about a neighbor with a baby? What is more annoying: A baby crying at all hours of the night and possibly being allowed to cry for up to 10 minutes on occasion? OR hearing people fight?

Our neighbors got in a doosie of a fight last week. It was not in English, so we couldn't follow along, but we sat on the bathroom counter and listened to it for a good half an hour regardless.

Then they moved. I wonder if he killed her...or maybe they got divorced. Or maybe they were fighting about the move. Moving does kind of make you despise your spouse for awhile.

Or maybe they were sick of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of someone elses baby crying.

(Please talk to me. Can you tell by my rambling post that I converse solely with children all day long?) Sometimes Joey comes home from school before I go to bed. But not often.

Here We Are

2011-08-21T22:57:00.005-06:00

We live in Arizona now.

I drove here alone with 3 kids and it was easy peasy lemon squeezy...for the first 12 hours.

It could be bordering on child abuse that I crammed those kids in the car for so long with so few breaks. But they were angels and didn't complain a single time...so I took advantage of their good nature. I was pumping and mixing formula in the drivers seat like it was my job. (I guess that WOULD be considered a "job" of a stay at home mom.) We stopped after 2 hours to run some last minute errands in Richfield. We got to see some of our favorite neighbors at Christensens.

When we left Richfield and I was asking the kids to put their seatbelts on, Gwen asked why it was the law to wear seatbelts. I told her that if you got in a wreck you could die. She said, "Why is it against the law to die?" She is definitely Joey's child.

Then we drove all the way to Flagstaff.

We could have driven longer, but we were out of gas.

I have to give credit where credit is due. My kids were so excited for the trip mostly to see Joey. But they were also looking forward to a giant basket of traveling goodies that they got from their Aunts Randi, Kelly and Dion and grandma Patty. This basket was FULL of treats and activities. There were even slinkys! The kids had been looking at it on the kitchen counter for over a week and I seriously think this was the sole reason for their good behavior. They spent a solid hour and a half just drawing on dry erase boards. They were even complimenting one another on their art work. There were also stickers in the basket. Since Max can't read, Gwen was telling him what his stickers said. He gave her a sticker that said "beautiful" and told her that she was beautiful. Then he handed me a sticker that said "super" and said, "It is because you are super big." Haha.

It was POURING in Flagstaff and parking lots were flooding. But I texted Joey and he assured me that Phoenix is dry as a bone.

With an hour and a half left on our journey, not a SINGLE fight between siblings (can you believe that?) and no potty accidents, we were directed OFF the freeway and detoured 10 miles to another on ramp. No big deal except that we were about the 500th car back. It added over an hour to the trip. I was unhappy. The kids were unhappy. We almost made it with zero contention. Oh well. Gwen started tattling. Max started annoying her. She tortured him. He almost broke the baby's pinky (not intentionally...I hope.). It got miserable FAST.

Then 6 miles from our destination I got pulled over.

Gwen started to cry. Max said a little prayer in the back seat.

Can you tell that we use unreasonable methods to get the kids to behave in the car? They are terrified of police men.

I only got a warning, but that mandatory written warning that I was told goes right into the trash added another half an hour to my trip. Once while we were waiting, Gwen asked why he needed to take my license. I told her he needed to make sure I wasn't a criminal. She said, "What if HE is a criminal?" She also thought that he would be able to tell when he looked up my record that I had been in marching band. She was imagining him coming back to the car laughing. Nice.

Now we live in an apartment.

I forgot how thin the walls in apartment buildings are.

And it is really hot here. At midnight.

We are starting homeschool in the morning. Only for a few weeks until I get all signed up for k12. (Thanks for all the homeschool links Kelly.) Tomorrow is testing and our first sign language lesson. I just learned mom, dad, sister and brother. I figure that is something all three kids can learn. Maybe.

NOW TELL ME....

Where can I find a decent CHEAP vaccuum? I couldn't fit mine in the car. It was the vaccuum or Gwen.

Any suggestions on how to teach/learn sign language?

Also...any of you awesome couponers or deal finders...I also need a mop, broom and lots of groceries. Any good deals floating around out there? I could also use a bed frame, kitchen table and chairs and dressers. I plan on hitting up lots of yard sales.

Today

2011-08-11T19:52:00.006-06:00

When my spoiled little baby woke up at 4 a.m. I realized I had an earache.

A bad one.

I realized as I ate half a donut at 4:10 a.m. that I couldn't hear out of that ear.

I took an Ibuprofen and went back to sleep.

At 6:00 and 6:30 and 7 a.m. it still hurt. The only thing that helped was being unconscious.

The baby doesn't like sleeping in the cot with me, so it forces me to quit being lazy and put him back in his own bed.

Then the girl wandered upstairs at 8.

It is summer.

Why don't kids get that?

BUT no matter how early we wake up, we will always be late for whatever we have scheduled first for the day.

Even if it is 11 a.m. swim lessons.

Both kids got to have private lessons at the pool today because no one else showed up.

But for some reason just as we were walking over to the pool, Max had a serious melt down.

It was embarrassing. He would not get in the pool. And he was wasting his last swim lesson.

Did I mention it was a private lesson? So the teacher had nothing else to do but stare at us, try to lend a hand and watch my superb mothering skills.

I finally bribed him with the zoo.

The zoo?

Did I also mention that Joey moved on Sunday? And it is hot outside?

But it worked. I hate that. It just came out like a dirty word.

I blame it on my hurting deaf ear.

I let the kids stay and swim outside after their lessons.

We got some lunch and sat by the pool.

They told me what a great mom I am. And how they've never seen a nicer mom.

Gwen said, "You think you're fat mom, but you're not. You're skinny."

Max said, "Yeah mom. You are like my alligator balloon when I blow him up to be just a little fat."

I tried to feed the baby and get him to sleep so that I could be a good mom and play in the pool.

But the baby acquired an aversion to right-sided mothers milk sometime in the night.

So he wouldn't eat.

We swam anyway and had so much fun that I decided we better hurry if we were going to make it to the zoo.

I told the kids that we would get an icecream sandwich on our way out since they are such good kids.

That was the end.

Gwen jumped up and down with a murderous look on her face and said she would NOT get out.

Wait. What? But what about icecream sandwiches and the zoo?

My ear still hurts and people are starting to stare. I probably threatened a little too loud.

Did I mention yet that I don't yell very much anymore? I do threaten inappropriate things now, but not so much yelling. We're getting there.

I finally had to walk away and hope that Gwen would catch up before we made it to the car and drove away.

There was so much more irrational behavior from Gwen from the pool to the car that I decided to do something drastic.

I grounded her. To her room. For the rest of the day.

And I stuck to it. Kind of. Except I did have to go to the gym eventually. (remember the half donut at 4 a.m.)

Gwen and Max have been sharing a room while Kayleigh and Viva share Gwen's room.

But they are gone today. So I sent her to her own room.

She wasn't "comfortable" because it was too messy. So I cleaned it. All. day.

And now she is comfortable in her confinement.

On a side note...what do you do with skirts that are too short to hang folded over on a hanger? Do they go with underwear?

What do you do when your children misbehave in public?

I try not to discipline them publicly. But if you were witnessing my life at the store, etc. would you just think I let me kids get away with everything?

Do you have a certain day you do laundry?

Does anyone have any experience (good or bad) with k12?

Gym Adventures

2011-07-12T14:55:00.004-06:00

My baby got bit on the forehead while he was being babysat at the gym.

This is what it looked like when I picked him up. Not too bad. And what can I do about it? It's already happened. It's not my job to punish the child who did it. And the girls watching him were super uncomfortable and had probably been scared that I was going to freak out and yell at them.

But really...if you drop your children off at a place with 50+ other children, odds are that something unpleasant is going to happen to your child at some point.

The boy that bit him was little too, obviously a little older because he has teeth and a biting problem. But I'm sure his parents were embarrassed when they found out and I guarantee that they are already aware that their child bites.

So what would be the point in freaking out or throwing a fit?

By the time I got home, it looked like this...a little worse. Joey was not very happy, so I'm really glad I was the one who picked him up. (Do you love his sweet little comb over?)

Then one day I was waiting to check my kids out of the gym and the lady in front of me was throwing a super fit about someone picking on her kid. The kid was fine and I was sick of waiting. I looked at Joey like, "Can you believe this lady?" I wasn't paying much attention and then my little Gwen pipes up and says, "Are you looking for the person who sat on this boy?" The mother says, "yes." (First of all...why is she looking for the kid? Lodge a complaint, but what will finding him accomplish?) Then Gwen says, "Oh. It was him. My brother. Max."

I died a little inside. It was embarrassing and I don't want to talk about it. Some other kids were also punching this kid in the face, mine only sat on him for a second. But it was humiliating and the lady still wouldn't leave after I apologized profusely. I'm not sure what she wanted. Money? I don't know what else I could have done publicly and I wasn't about to yell at my son in front of all those people. I do my yelling behind closed doors.

So I don't throw fits. Because stuff happens. And next week it will be your kid.

So onto all of the familiar faces I've seen so far...

Joey's cousin Katie's husband Ben. I didn't say anything. I'm not sure he would know who I was.

Shauntel's husband Ryan. Also didn't approach him to say hello. I saw him as my belly fat was being measured.

Angie from Good Things Utah. Is that her name?

Nicea Degerring from Good Things Utah. I saw her at the pool today too. Do you think they are sick of people staring at them all the time? They are like local celebrities.

And Michelle from the Bachelor. She is pretty.

And my very favorite star sighting was this girl that I have been blog stalking for YEARS. I saw her picking up her kids at the same time as me. I ALMOST went up and talked to her like we knew each other. Then I realized we don't. So then I was going to go introduce myself. And then I remembered that I was having this crazy eye problem that day. (I can't remember what Brian called it, but he did prescribe me something later that day that fixed me right up.) It was only in one eye and I was super sensitive to light and I couldn't open that one eye very big and it was all red and I really did look like a squinty eyed monster. So I didn't talk to her. I walked behind her all the way to my car wishing that we were best friends. BUT one of my best friends from elementary school IS one of her best friends, so.....yeah. We still don't know each other.

(Picture borrowed without permission. That is what blog stalkers do.)

She really is this cute in real life and she has the most amazing hair ever. I was totally jealous.

I also saw one of Randi's best friends from college in the locker room the other day, and last week I thought I saw my cousin, but she was dressing out in the open and I was embarrassed. I saw her later that day at a shower and it turned out it wasn't her at all. So I'm glad I didn't approach her.

Lifetime Fitness

2011-07-07T20:40:00.004-06:00

Well....

We moved.

It's still too painful to talk about.

So instead I will talk about one of the positive things about our move.

Our new gym.

Lifetime Fitness.

Not to be confused with our old gym in Richfield, Lifetime Fitness.

This place is amazing.

1. They watch your kids up to 2 hours a day.
You have to stay at the gym. BUT...there is a pool and a hot tub, a cafe and a salon.
So far I haven't dared to drop my kids off and doing anything but work out.
But I will...

That's about it. They watch your kids for 2 hours...everyday!

There are other perks...like parents night out where they watch your kids for 4 hours and you don't even have to be there!

There are also swim lessons and healthy food and delicious smoothies. You really could live there. I think I've showered more at the gym since we moved than at my own house. And it's more because I'm not showering much, not that I'm showering a lot at the gym.

Right now I'm on a strict regimen of 45 minutes of cardio 4 days a week.
It's killer and I'm not really doing it, but here is how it happened.

Joey and I went into the gym to meet with a personal trainer.
It's mostly so they can have one on one time to try to sell you stuff.
But they also test your skills.
Like stretching skills.
And how strong your muscles are.
And how out of breath you get after walking for 5 minutes.
And how much body fat is on your stomach.
And you have to lift up your shirt.
And the "testing center" is in the middle of the gym.
And I just had a baby.

I didn't do well on any of the tests.
It was way worse that I made Joey do it with me.
Did you know he only has 10% body fat?
It's true.
And after walking for 5 minutes his heart rate is as healthy as a 25 year old.

That is how I got on a strict regimen of 45 minutes, 4 days a week of cardio.

A few weeks ago I thought I would mix it up a little and swim laps for my cardio. Because it sounded like a lot more fun than running or walking or rowing.

I was wrong and it was embarrassing.

Half way into my second lap I realized that I wasn't going to make it back to the edge. But what do you do in that situation? Walk? Yes. You do. And then you get out as gracefully as you can manage and slip into the hot tub. And you hope that no one else notices that the whole ordeal took less than 3 minutes. Yep, there's a giant stopwatch on the wall.

Stay tuned to hear all about the people I've seen at the gym.
And who my kids have sat on.
And which of my kids has gotten bit and who has contracted pink eye.

Our Polygamistish Family Picture

2011-05-02T21:34:00.002-06:00

I have been checked out of life for awhile.

I still am.

But I thought my blog could do with a little update.

Let's start with the little man in this picture who refuses to smile for any camera.

But at least we got a wink out of him.

Last week while Joey and I were talking in the car, we suddenly tuned in to Max and heard him singing a little ditty about the "F" word. Basically it was the "F" word over and over, but sung to a sweet little tune. He didn't know what he was saying, just came upon the word while he was rhyming to himself.

Yesterday I was wakened from a little Sunday nap on the couch to Max using the "D" word very correctly. Oh man.

We have also had a little trouble with him and the "S" word, but we won't talk about that as it makes me look bad.

Since we are relocating to Phoenix soon, I decided to finish up Max's vaccinations today.

This day made it to my top 5 worst days of my life.

I thought I would prepare Max for what was coming while we waited for the nurse.

Bad idea.

He started begging me to tell the nurse that she couldn't give him shots.

He was crying.

It was heartbreaking.

I can't even talk about it.

It was horrible.

He didn't cuss a single time.

He did scream though.

He told the doctor that he wished he was at the dentist.

And I have been carrying him around all day.

The doctor did reassure me about Max's horrible eating habits, incontinence, distaste for underwear, and overall general health. So the day wasn't a total bust.

Well...this blog really took it out of me. (Did I mention that I have brittle nails and it hurts to type? Also...my hair is falling out.)

Stay tuned for more of our inappropriate family adventures.

Also...does anyone have a realistic and stylish wig that I could borrow?

Birthday Buddies!

2011-04-01T22:20:00.002-07:00

Today was my birthday.

It was a good one.

Thanks everyone for all the presents and birthday wishes!

I got visits from my parents, Kelly and Erik and kids and Em and Hayden and kids!

I got a Big Bun Bakery cake. (They closed yesterday so Joey had pre ordered it...the best bakery in the world, but little ol' Richfield couldn't make it happen.)

I share my b-day with TWO family members.

My mom's baby sister is the first one.

This is her with my mum and my uncle Joel.

I was even named after her.
I always thought that was pretty special...and I have two middle names.

And the second is my cousin Heather.
Her mom was visiting my mom the night before I was born and got stuck in a snowstorm. Which means, she missed her little girls b-day. Sad. But she got to be there to help my mom out with my sisters while I was born. (Which I've been told was the easiest birth in the history of the world.)

This was my 8th birthday right after my baptism. I was a weird little kid.
And I hated to have my hair done, maybe as much as Gwen hates to do hers.
Maybe I should cut her some slack.

Go to Kelly's blog if you want to see "The Trump" that Erik ordered at the best restaurant in Utah...in little 'ol Monroe. What is up with all the good food in Sevier County?

(I don't know what is on Kelly's blog, but if the Trump isn't there yet, check back later. And her blog is hilarious, so it won't be a waste of time.)

What is the BEST birthday you've ever had?

Smiles

2011-03-30T12:30:00.002-07:00

Do you ever have such vivid dreams that it feels like you haven't even been asleep?

I had one of those last night.

It was horrible.

It was one of those dreams where you wake up and for half the day you are still mad at the person you were mad at in your dream. Luckily it wasn't Joey.

(Although he may have had one of those dreams about ME last night.)

The most disturbing thing about my dream last night was the realization after I woke up that the things that happened and the things that were said all came from my very own subconscious.

My subconscious has apparently seen and heard lots of inappropriate stuff.

That sounded worse than it really was. But the people in my dream were saying things that I had to look up this morning. That sounds even worse. Oh well.

When I finally decided to drag my lazy body out of bed for the final time this morning, I got to spend some time with these two cuties.

They actually look kind of weird, but it's the ONLY picture that I've been able to get of Cash smiling so far.

Mug Shots

2011-03-24T23:27:00.004-07:00

This cute girl is Miss Sevier 2010-2011.

I just finished up some pictures of her for her upcoming pageant.

They asked me to send this headshot to the newspaper today.

So I did.

When I sent it I asked that IF there was room to give credit, that I would appreciate it.

A few times I have had pictures printed in this particular paper and someone else was thanked for contributing it.

So right away I got a response from the editor that said,

"We don't publish photo credits on mug shots."

What does that mean?

Of course right away I am insulted and assume that it means that I am not professional and my picture is not up to par for a headshot or something like that.

I'm sure it was not meant like that at all, but sometimes we should think before we speak and/or write. And that is why I am blogging about it rather than sending an offended email in response. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she meant nothing offensive by what she said.

I also thought it would be funny to see some really old pictures that I took of this same gorgeous girl. Her family have been my very best customers since I started taking pictures for other people. So here are a few from our shoot a few weeks ago and at the bottom are a few from our shoot in 2007 when I had my studio set up in the long hallway in my basement. I know I still have tons of room for improvement, but it is encouraging to see how far I've come.

This shot made it onto my first business cards. Haha... those were the days when I didn't worry about backlighting. Don't worry...I didn't charge for these.

Missing out

2011-03-23T15:33:00.002-07:00

Joey...

You've only been gone for 4 hours and you've already missed so much.

Cash smiled at me. He was staring at me so I looked down at him and a giant smile slowly lit up his whole little face. (Isn't it crazy how each milestone is just as special with each kid as it was with the last? Well....maybe not as special as it is with the first, but who remembers that far back anyway, right?)

Kayleigh got a scholarship to BYU! But she probably texted you at the same time as me, so maybe you didn't miss that.

You missed three emotional breakdowns from Gwen already and she has only been home for an hour. She also walked to dance class all by herself for the first time. I walked across the street with her and watched her until she turned the corner. She skipped for a minute and it was cute.

We lost Max for a little bit. He got a ride to school and I figured he was getting a ride home too. But then I wasn't sure and after Gwen had been home for half an hour I started to wonder if it is ever a good idea to assume anything. (I didn't want to call his ride because if she didn't pick him up I didn't want her to feel bad. Who decided it was a good idea to entrust me with children?) So I drove to preschool but he wasn't there. When I got home he was here with his little friend. They both had chocolate all over their faces and hands.

It is a nice day so I started to rake up the leaves in the back that are suffocating our lawn. After awhile I heard "That's a goooood mudpie!" from the front yard. And then the babe started to cry inside...so maybe we could finish it up together tomorrow?

And now I have to go get ready to go listen to Jason Chaffetz.

Does anyone have any good ideas for keeping little boys entertained that don't involve tv or messes? Max has had an eventful week and I don't know how much more I can handle. I still have to wash the ink off his walls and the toothpaste off of his couch. (And out of Gwen's hair.) I need suggestions from real moms with real boys.

Sleepy

2011-03-22T16:25:00.003-07:00

We have a sleepy household.

If only we could all agree to sleep at the same times, it might all work out.

(Joey saved Cash from a cryfest that I was allowing to go on for too long.)

This little boy is getting CHUBBY!
(Not Joey)

I hope it sticks.

His little clothes are all looking kind of silly on him now.

I didn't think I'd have to sort through the MOUNDS of clothes my sister gave me for a few more months. (Thanks Emily)

One little question:

Cash throws up A LOT.

I don't know how he gains any weight because he throws up every single time he eats and it looks like he is getting rid of everything he ate. He must not be, but I am getting kind of sick of it. He has his 2 month check up in a few weeks so I will make sure and ask the doctor, but sometimes moms are smarter than doctors. So....does/did anyone else have a baby who spit up unusually a lot? Were you nursing? What did you do? Live with it? Change what you were eating? I eat everything, so........

Ok. Help me.

Also...does anyone have a bumbo they won't be using for a few months?
I lent mine to someone and I never got it back.
(Maybe I should post about a baby who ruins everything with his puke AFTER I've successfully borrowed everything I need from everyone.)

What is wrong with this picture?

2011-03-18T16:46:00.010-07:00

This is just one con to having more than one kid....

or to having kids at all...

they NEVER cooperate!

(oopsie...open your eyes this time guys!)

(Is she being a smart aleck or sincere? Sometimes I can't tell.)

(Still can't tell, but if I've learned anything from taking pictures of other peoples kids it is that telling a child that their smile is weird NEVER ends with smiling kids.)

(Okay...Mom is starting to get irritated...let's all open our eyes and smile for the SAME picture.)

(No one liked that idea.)

(Now baby is irritated...and Max is trying to whistle.)

(Maybe it's better if we don't look at the camera...better luck next time.)

Are you wondering why two of my children were not wearing green for St. Patrick's day?

The real question is why Max hasn't changed his clothes or bathed since St. Patrick's day?

He's not so sure that the pinching leprechauns leave right after the holiday and he isn't taking any chances.

(It certainly has nothing to do with me or my housewife/parenting skills.)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING FUN THIS WEEKEND?

Cash's Blessing

2011-03-15T21:09:00.002-07:00

Thank you to everyone who came and visited us for little Mr. Cash's blessing day.

We had lots of friends and family come and stay and it was so much fun!

I hate when everyone starts to gather up their stuff to go!

I didn't take any pictures. Oops. I am waiting to take some of Cash for when his baby zits finally go away. Poor thing. The flash overexposed them right out of this picture luckily.

Besides a little mishap with a lowcut shirt + rushed nursing, it was a good day.

Sorry to anyone who got a show!

THANK YOU:

Joey for blessing all of our babies. I think you are brave and thoughtful and articulate.

Kelly, Randi and Kelli for bringing treats.

Patty and Jerry for taking the whole crew out to dinner on Saturday and for the potato salad.

Lori & Brian for all the treats and especially for helping get things ready and staying late to help clean up. And by help I mean that I didn't help at all.

Kayleigh for mopping even though you knew as you were doing it that you would have to redo it in a few hours.

Mom and Dad for the blessing outfit! (My mom crocheted/knitted ?? a little sweater and a hat to dress it up a bit)

And Max and Kade for providing the entertainment.

These two little boys found themselves in my messy bedroom, unsupervised. I would have liked to have heard their sweet little voices planning their mischief. But alas, I heard nothing at all until Joey's aunt Lori came in the kitchen and told me that there was some sort of pink sticky liquid pouring down from my balcony. On my way up to investigate I passed all the kids in the house laughing and running away from my bedroom, except Max and Kade. We found Kade hiding in the bathtub. Kayleigh finally found Max in his closet, trying to hold the door shut from the inside. Haha. Silly boys. Those two stinkers found every single body spray, tooth paste, lotion, piece of make-up and liquid hair product and dumped/squeezed/and sprayed them onto the deck outside of our room. Good excuse to buy new things, right? Most of it was so old that I shouldn't have been using it anyway. And luckily the mess was mostly contained to my deck. Gwen was pretty upset about her $2.50 detangler though.

Can you believe that no one got a picture??

That one would've made it to Max's hall of fame. Maybe we will recreate it.

What messes have you had to clean up this week?

Interesting

2011-03-09T14:09:00.002-07:00

This post is going to be all about me.

I'm selfish like that.

It has recently come to my attention that I am boring.

I don't have any interesting interests.

Or was it that I'm not interested in anything?

Well that needs to change.

So in true mindless Suzy fashion...

I'm asking all of you...what should my new hobby be?

It doesn't necessarily have to be a hobby...but what should I be interested in?

What do you like to spend your time doing?

Let me tell you some things I like to do.

My very favorite thing to do is read.

Of course that is kind of a lazy interest, right? Lots of sitting around.

I am obsessed with WWII...anything about it.

But that is kind of a pointless thing to know lots about.

I am also kind of obsessed with Great Britain.

The history of it, its actors, its prince. (Not anymore, but I used to think I wanted to marry him...weird I know.)

I like to take pictures, but that is a job now...so it doesn't count.

I do a little scrapbooking, but I get behind and then I throw things together just to catch up.

Hmmm....it's gonna be tough, but let's brainstorm.

What could I be good at?

My real goal is to be passionate about something.

So tell me what you are passionate about and why...give me a little jumpstart.

Ok....think. And comment.

Winter Swim Lessons

2011-03-03T13:00:00.003-07:00

I was ambitious back when I was pregnant.

Maybe ambitious is the wrong word.

Unless ambitious and lazy have ever meant the same thing.

But anyway...when I was pregnant I signed the kids both up for swim lessons.

Lessons that would start the first week of Cash's life.

When I knew I would be all alone.

It was kind of a stupid decision, but now they are over and we are all alive and the kids loved them!

Did I mention that they were EVERY SINGLE day of the week? That part wasn't awesome.

Plus getting your soaking wet kids back to the car in freezing temperatures just feels wrong.

Can you tell this one has an aversion to food?

Both kids learned a lot and had to get way out of their comfort zones. Both things were fun to watch.

I was watching HOARDERS last night and don't feel very good about the state my house is in. One woman last night said, "I just got behind one day and I've never caught back up." Uh-oh. I might be in trouble. Cash decided not to sleep last night. I know, I know...what mom of a newborn ever gets any sleep? But usually he is good, so it was hard to take. After he had finally dozed off this morning at about 5:30, Max yelled my name from his room to ask his he could come sleep with me. That woke the baby up again. Then at 6:30 Gwen decided she had had enough sleep on a NO SCHOOL DAY!!! Kayleigh was doing her nails today and she just couldn't sleep. (She didn't get her nails done until 9!!) And on top of it all I have mastitis again.

Also this morning I got a text from my mom telling me that my grandma died early this morning. Sorry for bothering you with my trivial day to day problems when you called me today Dad! I hope it got your mind off of your bigger problems. I love you!

Who wants to come and get my older kids for a few hours??
Would it be weird to call a babysitter when I'm not actually doing anything?

Back to Reality...kinda

2011-02-24T23:20:00.002-07:00

Here is another picture of my cute little baby. It's too late at night to think about what other pictures I might have to post...so this is it.

I kind of slacked on posting for Joey everyday. Sorry. I will do better next week.

This week was kind of hard. The sleep deprivation is catching up with me. It was ok at first. Now it's not as fun to wake up in the middle of the night.

It's even worse when it is for reasons other than feeding a teeny tiny baby. (Like growing pains and wet beds.)

Also this week I feel like the world expects me to be fully functional again. And I'm not ready for that. I still want to be babied and for people to ask me how I feel and bring me dinner.

Oh well. I do have a cute neighbor that takes Max to school and she came early this week so she could hold the baby. I liked that. (Yes Max only has school once a week. Darnit.)

Yesterday while Cash was sleeping, Max was kissing him like he does every second of the day. He sat up and whispered to me, "Mom...sometimes I feel like I really need to bite Dad hard on the cheeks. And now I feel like I need to bite Cash's lips. But I don't think I should."

Don't you ever just get an uncontrollable urge to bite something....really really hard?

Happy Valentines Day

2011-02-14T23:41:00.003-07:00

This little baby had to get his foot poked today...but he is healthy and has gained a pound since coming home from the hospital!

This girl is about to have her half birthday! Half birthdays have become important to her because she has a summer birthday. So they celebrate her half birthday at school instead of the real one. She doesn't really understand yet though that she will never have a half birthday party, nor will she be getting any presents. Today was also a hard day for her. She wondered after school when she would get the rest of her valentines. I was confused because they had their school party on Friday. But she was referring to the fact that ALL she got was a chocolate heart and a book. Oh boy.

This little man is my biggest helper. The other day though I was upstairs and heard his sweet little voice singing, "Baby goin' up up...baby goin' up up..." I was hoping his little song didn't mean what I thought it meant as I ran toward the sound of his voice. But it did. He was clutching his baby brother chest to chest and had just made it to the top of the stairs. AAAHHHH...I couldn't help but laugh because he was so proud of himself and he is so proud of being my big helper. I also think he was proud that he could do what his sister didn't dare to do. (She was following close behind and hadn't tried to stop him) When I went downstairs later after my heart attack subsided, I found that he had also fed him a little formula. Which to me was amazing. We have little premade bottles that we got at the hospital. He opened one by himself and even found a disposable nipple and had fed Cash half of the bottle before deciding to carry him upstairs for me to burp him. Today while I showered he decided to take the baby downstairs. It's not cute anymore. I guess I can't practice good hygiene unless there is another adult in the house.

Can you tell this picture was taken with a wide angle lens? My face looks distorted, but maybe that's just my face.

What did you do for Valentines Day?
I rented a movie to watch alone after the kids went to bed.
But then I fell asleep before they did.
And then I had to wake up to get them to sleep.
And feed the baby.
And then figure out why the baby wouldn't go back to sleep.
And then feed the baby again.
Then Max fell out of bed.
And I had to get him back to sleep.
And then I had to go refill my water and get a cookie.
And now it's midnight and I'm awake.

Little Men

2011-02-10T23:25:00.003-07:00

I love this little man. I bet Joey can't wait to come home to cuddle him. We love the weekends!

(Thanks for the help with rocking and swaddling Mom.)

Max had one of the best days of his life today. Nana taught him to use a meat cleaver.

Probably not the best idea she has ever had.

And she let him frost cookies all by himself. They were delicious. Seriously. He knows how to pack on that frosting.

Have a happy weekend!

Anyone doing anything fun??

Cashwell

2011-02-08T22:02:00.002-07:00

I ran into a friend the other day while picking our children up for school. She peeked in the car to see Cash and Max told her that his name was Cashwell. So I just laughed and didn't say anything. I thought it was obvious that I wouldn't name my baby Cashwell. Except I did name my baby Cash, so maybe it made sense to her. Later that day she stopped by to bring us dinner and as she is holding the baby she says in a kind of weird voice, "So you named him Cashwell?" Haha....so she had gone the whole day thinking what a weirdo I was.

Today as I was brushing my teeth I heard him say in the other room in a pretend deep voice to his baby brother, "I'm Joey so I'm your dad and you have to do what I say....NOW CRY!" Of course Cash was sound asleep and the exclamation mark was probably kind of an exaggeration. But it was hilarious.

Here are some pictures that we took a few days before Cash came along. I knew I wouldn't get around to it for a few more years if I didn't do it soon. The pictures all kind of look the same because this shoot lasted less than 10 minutes. And I usually tell clients not to wear clothing with writing or cartoon characters...etc. But Max wouldn't listen and we compromised by bringing along a change of clothes. That didn't happen. Thanks for the shirt Melissa. That wasn't sarcastic either, it's one of his favorites and it fits, so that's always a plus at our house.

Newborn Pics-Take One

2011-02-08T01:26:00.004-07:00

Cash's umbilical cord remains fell out on Sunday.
Max has been very concerned everytime he sees me change a diaper.
He has asked me countless times what would happen if someone pulled it out.
So...I told him his guts would come out.
I know, I know, but I was afraid that he would get curious and pull it out when I wasn't watching.

So...Max came running down the stairs on Sunday yelling that the babies belly button had fallen out.
Of course my first reaction was that Max had pulled it out.
Cash is only a week old and I usually have to wait at least 2 weeks for that sucker to fall out.
Poor Max...he was so concerned. He is such a sweet and caring little boy.
And he has been my biggest helper.
He knows where all the babies things are and what everything is for and he runs to help anytime I need it.
I'm so glad he doesn't want his little brothers guts to come out of his belly button.

So we gave our little babe his first real bath today. I thought it would wear him out enough that he would sleep through posing and bright lights and nakedness while we took his pictures.

But he didn't.
Didn't even close his eyes a single time.
Oh well.
We'll try again tomorrow.

Baby Pirates

2011-02-04T00:33:00.004-07:00

This giant picture that probably won't show up, won't let me delete and won't get smaller...is of a hole that Max bit in the back of Gwen's shirt today. And it was all over chocolate covered fruit that the relief society brought over. Gwen wanted to save the biggest piece for Joey. Max wanted to eat the biggest piece. So he bit a hole in her shirt. I wasn't even sure how to handle that one.

Later we had a 2 minute photo shoot.

My studio doesn't get as warm as I thought it would.

Gwen wanted a captains hat and telling her that she matched the baby only worked for a few minutes.

Gwen didn't feel like she could hold the baby and stand on unstable furniture at the same time.

It was cold.

Max was sure excited though.

Cuddle Bugs

2011-02-02T20:20:00.002-07:00

Isn't this hat cute? I will put a link up later when I'm not half asleep. Amber makes seriously cute hats. And I was excited to find this matching outfit in the clothes Emily gave me.

Kissing Daddy good night. If bedtime wasn't so hectic we would have thought to call and tell Dad good night. Sorry Joey. Tomorrow. I promise.

Trying to capture a sleepy smile, but got this instead.

They love each other. Even if they fight all day long.

Max had preschool today and made this "love bug".

But it doesn't kiss people.

It sucks their blood.

"See these thingies?" (The antennas) "This is what it uses to suck their blood into its body."

I should post a picture of myself to go along with this funny story. But I'm not going to.

Max came up to me in the kitchen today and asked if he could squeeze my legs. I told him he could. So he did. Then he asked if there was milk in my legs. I told him no. Then he started "squishing" my stomach. Then he asked if there was milk in there. I told him no. He looked at me for a second and then asked me why it was still so fat. I guess my legs are looking a little thick too.

We miss you Joey! Can't wait to see you this weekend!

Things I forgot...

2011-01-31T12:59:00.003-07:00

How much I like hospital food. I really do.

Maybe because I didn't make it.

How much contractions without an epidural REALLY hurt. And it's really hard not to cry.

How much I love nurses and having lots of positive attention.

Sending baby to the nursery and getting him back when he is hungry.

A husband who appreciates you for a few days cause he's glad he didn't have to do what you just did.

The biggest thing I forgot was how pregnancy and labor and newborns are NOT the hardest thing going on with childbirth. The hardest things are still looking 6 months pregnant, sore boobies, and post labor contractions!

Thanks to everyone who helped without having to be asked and just knew what a new mommy needs. And for the treats.

I don't love knowing when it's going to happen!

2011-01-27T08:46:00.003-07:00

Today is my last day of being pregnant.

So of course I'm going to clean all the bathrooms in the house.

I might just lie around and cuddle Max all day, but I do have a to-do list.

Max is a little apprehensive about the whole baby thing.

I don't blame him. He has been the baby for 4 years.

He is worried that the baby will poop on all his stuff. It is seriously his biggest concern.

He has reverted back to his 2 year old mischievous phase this last week too.

He stuck hooks to the wall in the entryway where everyone can see, right at his level, upside down. They are made to NEVER come off. He got in trouble, but I still couldn't get them off. Later when I walked by the hook parts were broken off...even more attractive.

The list goes on, but Joey is coming home tonight and I don't want to drive him away. (Since I've saved most of it for him to take care of.)

I am more worried about having a 3rd child after Gwen said at the grocery store, "Mom...you always show more love for Max." How sad.

Any suggestions for how to keep short hair looking good for pictures while you deliver a baby? I should have waited to get a haircut. At least I know how to put long hair in a ponytail. And is it weird to get your hair done at a salon the day before you have a baby?

Preference Pirates

2011-01-24T17:39:00.003-07:00

Kayleighs group of friends came over on Friday night for me to do their preference pictures.

Since it was just their group and not lots of kids that I don't know, I decided to get kinda weird.

This idea is completely ripped off.

Joey improved it for me, cause that's what he does.

And the cute girl with the mustache is the one who had the mustache idea.

I think I am in labor right now and my phone won't turn on and my husband is not at home.

So I will leave you with some pictures while I go lie down on the couch and let my kids destroy the house.

Pictures of Gwenny

2011-01-20T18:52:00.002-07:00

I just bought these super cute headbands from a new etsy shop called The Bearded Lady by elyse beard.

Isn't that a cute name?

I only have pictures of one of the headbands so far because as much as Gwen likes to have her picture taken she is completely uncooperative as far as wardrobe and hair choices.

So I am waiting until I can convince her to let me curl her hair and choose clothes that fit her properly.

Go to her etsy shop HERE and check out her darling headbands.
And they are SUCH A GOOD PRICE!!
(The other one I bought is the black and red one and I can't wait to take pictures with it!)

She also just lost her second tooth.

(Only the second one and already the toothfairy is proving to be unreliable. She tried to get Gwen to go back to sleep the next morning while she tore the house apart looking for quarters or loose bills somewhere. Do you believe neither of the kids at my house had any quarters in their piggy banks? Luckily she found a silver dollar in my dresser drawer that my grandpa gave me when I was little.)

Nannies, Babies, & Chocolate

2011-01-18T14:43:00.005-07:00

I am lazy.

More so when I am 30 pounds heavier than usual. (Imagine being almost as heavy as your 6'6" husband...it's not awesome for the self esteem.)

Blogging doesn't take too much energy, but when you are lazy there is not usually tons to talk about.

Also, taking pictures and uploading them and converting them to jpgs DOES take a lot of brain power and blogs without pictures are BORING.

So here is what's new.

We have a nanny.

The "nanny" part is not going to work out. She is too busy being a responsible teenager.

She goes to early morning seminary and then straight to nail tech at the college. (She starts doing nails soon...come visit and I will make you an appointment at the cosmetology.)

She has no time for lunch because she has to rush to the high school for a few classes and then to work.

Pretty soon she will start softball and we will see her even less.

Even though she can't take the kids off my hands for most of the day like I had hoped, it is nice to have a pair of helping hands around.

I was upstairs doing laundry the other day (aka sitting on Gwens bed talking to my mom on the phone) when I heard the vacuum turn on downstairs. It was weird. She cleans up messes....even ones that she didn't make!! It's crazy and so wonderful.

In baby news....not much progress. I've scheduled a day to be started, but I am a little nervous that I will go into labor on my own and no one will be able to be here. I just know that unless I am POSITIVE that the baby is coming, I would never call Joey and ask him to come home. And once I'm positive it will probably be too late for anyone to make it here. Gwen already told me she doesn't want to be in there when the baby is born. I don't think Max would be a big fan either.

I had my first real FOOD craving tonight just as soon as my pajamas were on and Joey had left. I crave laundry detergent and other non food items and sometimes I think certain foods sound good. But tonight I was craving chocolate. Something I have never craved in my life. I'm not a big chocolate fan either. The thought of eating a whole candy bar hurts my teeth. (Of course that's not to say that I can't down a whole milky way in less than a minute.) I was thinking of piling the kids in the car and running to the gas station and just as I was contemplating whether or not Gwen was big enough to go in alone, pick out a chocolate treat and use my debit card, I remembered the crunch bar in my top dresser drawer that has been there for several years. No point to this story. But thought some of Joey's family would be glad to hear that I'm having food cravings now and no longer contemplating pouring Tide into my icebox. (Doesn't that sound so good though?? Just a hint of Tide frozen into your ice chips?)

Come back tomorrow (or sometime in the next few weeks for pictures) They are converting to jpgs as we speak, but I am going to lie down. Who knows when I will fire up this Mac next.

Smartie Pants

2010-12-17T23:14:00.003-07:00

This cute boy just got an internship at the capitol!

Congratulations Joey!! We are proud of you!

He also just finished his bachelors from SUU!

(And all we did to celebrate was take him to Bullies in Monroe...sorry.)

Are you still there?

2010-12-06T21:22:00.004-07:00

Hmm... what's new, what's new?

Well...I got a haircut. Thanks Randi. Give her a call if you are in or around Price. She does a good job and you can even just tell her to do whatever she thinks will be best and it always works out. If anyone ever took any pictures of me I would post one.

I'm getting bigger and bigger and I complain more and more everyday.

Our treadmill is for sale on KSL.com. Someone please buy it so I don't have to feel guilty about not using it.

Joey is writing his last paper EVER as I type this. (Well, his last paper at SUU.) Good job Joey!!

Gwen had a dance recital and she knew her whole dance without looking at her neighbors. And then we lost her afterward for 30 minutes. (Thanks for finding her Mom.) She was pretty scared and then she was pretty sad that ALL the other girls had flowers except her. Oops. Next time, next time. I thought she would rather have candy. But then we ate it. It was a LONG recital.

Joey has been refereeing for city league basketball and the kids love to watch him ref more than they like to watch him play. He is pretty cute in his little striped shirt with his whistle.

We've all had the flu and we're hoping not to get it again until next year. Joey and I had it at the same time. I don't know if it was the best or the worst day of the kids life. (Probably the best...cereal and cartoons all day. And whatever else they did....I'm still not sure what went on that day.)

I signed up to be on our ward Christmas party committee and somehow I got assigned to the dinner part of the party. I hope I don't end up sitting by anyone who is unfortunate enough to get my "chicken pillows". Maybe I should skip the party.

My phone is on it's last leg. Usually it is just thinking hard and then it goes blank and then it thinks hard again for a minute. So if I don't text or call you back...keep trying. Or email me or send me a message on facebook. Or at least don't get mad at me, because really it's no different than when my phone is in perfect working condition. I am unreliable and I don't get back to people in a timely fashion.

Oh yeah...I got a new awesome camera. I am in love with it. And I am excited about taking pictures again. So call me. Or email me. Or call me and leave me a message with your email and I will email you. Haha...

Also...my internet is struggling today...so no pictures. I am so boring.

Halloween and Missing Teeth

2010-11-05T20:24:00.005-07:00

Well Max really messed Halloween up this year.

We were supposed to be villains because last year we were all super heroes.

Joey chose Skeletor, Gwen was the White Witch (from Narnia, not Alice in Wonderland) and I was Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.

Max refused to be a bad guy.

He would NOT budge.

So he was He-Man to Joey's Skeletor.

He was cute.

Gwen was cute.

Joey made all their costumes.

Except mine because I'm fat and pregnant.

So I bought mine and it was lame.

(Even though mine was the only store bought costume, I was also the only one that people were

asking who I was supposed to be. Whatever.)

Thanks trick-or-treating stranger for taking a picture for us.

This is Max's preschool party that I helped with.

He is embarrassed of me. He told me so. Can you tell?

Max also had a birthday last month.

We finally had a cake a few days after his real birthday.

(Thanks Big Bun Bakery for making awesome cakes and other delicious food!)

This lady lost her first tooth!! And I was gone at a photo shoot. So sad.

When the tooth fairy left her a dollar she said she would rather have a quarter.

Fine by me.

I think coins are more exciting for kids anyway.

(I don't know why my pictures upload so tiny. Maybe they will get bigger if you click on them so you can get a better view of Joey's muscles.)

ALSO...TELL THE TRUTH. IS 3 KIDS THE WORST TRANSITION IN THE WORLD? I'VE BEEN HEARING THAT LATELY AND I THINK IT IS TRUE. I WAS TOLD LAST WEEK THAT ONCE YOU HAVE 3 YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE 10.

Halloween Portraits

2010-10-14T12:10:00.006-06:00

(Click the picture...it gets bigger!)

I am having a rough morning.

No matter how diligently you train your children to be lazy and sleep in...1 month of school will reverse your efforts.

School children also get bored easily at home with only the tv to entertain them.

Who knew?

So...I don't know why this picture is showing up so small.

Try clicking on it and see if it shows up bigger.

If not, I will have to fix it later.

The kids might kill each other if I don't take them outside to play.

But here are the details just in case:

I will be doing Halloween portraits in Price, UT on Friday October 22 from 2-5 p.m. at my sweet little sister in laws house.

Pictures are $10 per pose and includes a 5x7 and a high res file sent to your email.

Call or email with any questions or to reserve a spot.

jackandjillphotography@gmail.com

435.896.7346

Help a girl out and spread the word.

(Maybe not with the teeny tiny jpg....I will fix it.)

Michael, Chef, Owls and Robots

2010-10-05T20:37:00.004-06:00

Did you know that I LOVE Michael Bolton?

I had this poster on my wall when I was 12. I think it is the only poster I ever owned.

I LOVED the earring. And even the mullet didn't sway me.

Rita...do you remember winning tickets on the radio to see him like a million years ago?

I was on the other line trying to win them too.

I held it against you for awhile.

Just kidding.

I also love the Chef.

Chef Boyardee.

I had raviolis for lunch today and I was so excited when Max turned his nose up.

Sarah...remember when I always ate all your raviolis at our trailer without asking? Sorry about that.

In an attempt to get the kids out of the house today while Joey studied, I took the kids to the movies.

We saw that owl movie. It was sort of scary, but also kind of boring to the kids.

There was really only one part that Gwen needed to cuddle and only a few that Max wanted to play musical chairs to pass the time.

I was a little uncomfortable from the pizza and breadsticks I scarfed 5 minutes before we loaded up on candy and popcorn and the seats didn't recline at all.

Has anyone seen it? What did you think? It didn't seem to have a political agenda at least. (But I usually don't pick up on those anyway until Joey points them out.)

And lastly in my randomness....

It was requested that I post a few pictures of our robot halloween costumes from 2 years ago.

So here they are. (Isn't Joey so creative?)

Jenn...Our bodies are just boxes spray painted silver and our heads are smaller boxes. Joey cut them. I would have screwed them up.

Our arms and legs are dryer vents. In the first pic you can kind of tell that Joey's arms are less flexible than mine. Make sure you get the soft flexible kind. The legs were cut down the back so that we could walk better. (It was still hard)

Our hardware is self stick reflective gizmos for bikes and such. And a bit of reflective tape. We also have water bottles protruding from our heads and hangers from the tops.

Joey whipped these costumes up in seriously under an hour and only that long because of the time it took the spray paint to dry. My tutu is like 4 of Gwens tutus pinned together. I know, it looks super awesome. My only contribution and it looks the worst.

Did I ever tell the story about how this was our first Halloween at home and so no one really knew who we were. We got a lot of weird looks. Then Max got tired cause he was just a little guy so Joey went home with him to hand out candy. Then I really got weird looks. It was kind of embarrassing. It was really embarrassing.

Boxtops & Hector

2010-09-30T10:56:00.007-06:00

First off....

Please go here and vote for Ashman. Lins is giving away boxtops to the school with the most votes.

And while I am not positive what good boxtops are, I know I want Gwen's school to win.

I have faithfully cut off boxtops since before I had kids and sent them to nieces and nephews to turn into their schools.

And I still don't know why.

Someone enlighten me.

But first go vote. Now. Please.

........................................................................................................................................................................

In other news:

The kids are insisting that we name the baby Hector now.

This is Hector from the Electric Company on PBS.

I don't know if Gwen thinks he is super cute, or just admires him for his brain. ("He has the ability to replay any image that he sees, much like a video camera." -wikipedia)

Not happening.

I like Atticus, but it has been pointed out numerous times that people would call him Addy.

I also like Anton.

But we will probably end up going with Cash. Because Joey has the best taste around.

And with a name like that, he is bound to be naughty. And girls always go for the bad boys.

Ask Gwen who has the best style at our house if you don't believe me. (She made me take a picture of her outfit and hair choice today to get his approval before I could take her to school.)

She copied this hairstyle from a polly pocket and she insists on rolling up her pants so that people can see her boots.

In Max news, he is in preschool once a week, which isn't nearly enough. He loves it!

It is weird though to have kids who are such opposites.

On Gwens first day of preschool she begged me to let her walk in alone.

Max on the otherhand still stands nervously next to the car until I walk him in.

Which is inconvenient when I am not presentable. (Which is everyday) Funny little guy.

HAPPY FALL!!!

Who else is excited to wear giant sweatshirts??!!

Rubbish

2010-09-14T20:43:00.002-06:00

(I thought this picture looked like a cute little japanamation animal. Like a little woodland deer or bunny or skunk.)

Thanks for all of your horrible ideas for names.

Just joking....there were some good ones in there.

Of course both of the kids wanted the baby to be the same gender as themselves.

Max said he loves Claire, but he DOES NOT love girl babies.

If it didn't have a weenie, he didn't want it.

Gwen wasn't as vocal, but she promptly threw a fit in the ultrasound room when they announced that it was a boy.

So here are there ideas for names.

Max likes Patton (I think he thinks he made that up), Rubbish, Pally, Slappish, and the newest is Licorice.

Gwen's are almost worse, because she is dead serious...Bob or Bobby.

So keep the ideas coming. I need to bring something to the table, even if they are stolen ideas.

Our hospital just got a 3D imaging machine. They were pretty excited. The kids still had no idea what they were looking at. And in all the excitement they forgot to measure his femur. So Max and I got to go back for a free ultrasound this morning. It wasn't that exciting since they were only 12 hours apart, at least not for Max.

And if you don't believe that this was a free ultrasound, ask me about our insurance. There has been a lot of haggling on my part and I must admit that it has been rather fun to be in control of my pregnancy and my money. And I have to thank my sister in law Dion for clueing me into what I needed to do. I know no one else has any idea what I'm talking about, but thanks Dion!!

PS...you should move to rural Utah. Some things are cheaper down here. Well, not enough to warrant a move, but you know.

NAME GAME

2010-09-12T17:17:00.003-06:00

Well....we get to find out tomorrow afternoon if baby #3 will be a boy or a girl.

I don't think I've actually told too many people that we are expecting a baby.

So if you didn't know....SURPRISE!

So help us out with some ideas for names.

Did you know that Joey has named both of our children?

He did.

He has vetoed every single name I've ever come up with.

Here are some examples:

Josephine...How cute is that when you consider that her dad is Joseph and we would call her Josie for short. Nope. He hates it.

Keely...(I don't know how I would spell it) My grandma's maiden name was Keele and I think it is so cute. He didn't really veto that one. But with two Kelly's already in the family I thought it might be confusing.

I LOVED the name Minnie a few weeks ago. Until I told Joey. He didn't think that a 6 foot girl named Minnie would be a nice thing to do to your child.

I've never had too many clever ideas about boy names, but I did veto him when he wanted Max to be short for Maxamillion.

It really comes down to this... Joey has good taste and I don't.

And it's true of every aspect of our lives.

He decorates the house.

He tries to dress me....but I still manage to look like a bag lady most of the time.

He takes the kids school clothes shopping.

And he names the kids.

So this is what we have so far.

Joey likes Johnny for a boy... or for a girl, I don't think he cares which.

I suggested Olive for a girl.

Joey doesn't love it.

I told Joey's aunt Lori my idea the other night and as the words were coming out of my mouth I instantly knew it was a dog's name. Maybe just because when you talk to Lori you are always thinking of dogs, because you know she is.

She hated it too.

(PS...it is Lori's bday today. I'm not sure how old she is, but I just turned 28 and I wish I looked like her. She NEVER updates her blog, but go wish her a happy birthday anyway. We LOVE her.)

So tell me your best ideas for names.

We like old fashioned names.

We also like names that are short for something.

Tell me what you think of Olive...and Johnny.

What could Olive be short for, haha?

Tell me your children's names.

I WILL steal them....but does it really matter?

Washington DC

2010-09-09T14:08:00.005-06:00

Our accomodations were a little more cramped in Washington DC.

We met up with Travis at the Baltimore airport.

Then we checked into our teeny tiny hotel room.

The bathroom didn't even have a lock.

When I tried to go in the bathroom with Gwen to help her change, we didn't both fit.

But luckily they are so accomodating at the Palomar in Arlington VA, that they upgraded us the next day to a more roomy room.

And just in time because Joey and Travis picked Steve up from the airport that day.

The bathroom was much larger, but still no lock. So weird.

This is not posed. He loves her. She hates it, so he does it when she sleeps.

Thank goodness for Travis.

Joey didn't get a durn picture of me on this leg of the trip.

We did A LOT of walking.

And my camera is heavy.

I don't think he wanted to chance getting stuck with it.

Travis also took this one.

Waiting for the Metro.

Joey was in a good mood.

Really. He just likes to look intimidating.

Just in case.

We WERE on the metro.

Max has this airplane pose that he does when I try to take pictures of him.

It evolved during the vacation.

The result was this hilarious sexy pose.

I almost couldn't take the picture.

Look how serious he is about it.

So much walking.

It made us hungry.

The day before the 8/28 rally.

People were already reserving spots.

The crazy thing is that it is illegal to camp out on "The Mall".

No sleeping.

Did they take shifts, or just stay up all night?

It sounds uncomfortable and lame.

Not a happy camper. We missed being able to go to the top of the Washington Monument by about 30 seconds.

He didn't care as much.

Neither did he.

Sorry about the closed eyes Trav.

But doesn't he have the cutest smile?

No wonder all the girls in HS were in love with him.

Including me.

Joey in front of a stuffed Joey.

Cue the fake thunder and Gwen was done with this part of the museum.

Joey and Travis trying to figure out what this exhibit is.

Can you tell what this human skeleton is doing with this animal skeleton?

Gwen wants to be a stewardess. But mostly she wants to be an art teacher.

The kids top favorite thing from our whole vacation was the Air & Space Museum.

When I looked at the Smithsonian map I mentally crossed that museum off the list.

But Travis insisted. So we went. Thanks Travis!!

There is even a McDonalds there that has special air and space toys.

That of course was not an influence on the children loving it though.

Because I didn't take them.

I forget until we were gone.

Oh well.

(We did eat at the McDonalds across from our hotel every single night that we were in DC though. I know, gross right? Joey and Travis thought so, so they ate elsewhere. But I won't lie. I love McDonalds. It's my favorite restaurant. Seriously.)

This is us at the Glenn Beck 8/28 rally. (Minus me of course.)

We woke up at 6 am.

It was horrible.

It was like waking up at 4 am in Utah. (Except we were already used to the time change, but that is still early.)

Then we walked to the Lincoln Memorial.

We got there around 8 and got pretty good spots.

Unless you're short like me, then it doesn't really matter where you sit.

The rally didn't start until 10, so Gwen and I stretched out and took a nap.

Oops...no camping. Oh well.

I didn't see a sign about drooling, but I bet the people around us were still disgusted.

For some reason I am missing pictures that I remember taking.

I am missing the picture of Gwen on Joey's shoulders at the rally.

When they announced Sarah Palin, Gwen got excited and asked Joey to lift her up so she could see.

I think he shed a few tears as he gave her a boost.

(In all fairness, she probably would have had the same reaction if they had announced Barack Obama. She's not indoctrinated yet, she just recognizes names of famous people.)

After three hours of sitting in the direct sunlight on the grass with no drinks or treats, I know...we're genius's, I decided to take the kids to a kiosk nearby for a break.

After 30 minutes of wall to wall human traffic and having moved 5 feet, it was obvious that we were never coming back to find Joey.

Luckily a nice lady gave my children American flags on long wooden sticks to distract me from the big belly behind me pushing against my back and the big butt in front of me shoved into my own belly. Max thought it was funny/entertaining/mean (who knows what his motivation is...ever) to put the long stick between peoples legs and move it around. Sometimes he just flat out jammed it into peoples legs and bums and arms. What's a mom to do? I couldn't take it and hold it myself. I had two little hands to hold onto. If I let go I would have lost them forever. You can't just throw away an American flag, can you? Well I thought not, so I didn't. I didn't even yell at him because it was so hot and I was feeling clausterphobic. I did discipline him a little so that the people around us wouldn't feel too poorly about my mothering skills.

After an HOUR we were finally free from the maddening crowd. We looked back at the 30 feet we had traveled and Joey was nowhere to be found. So we found the nearest hotdog stand and the nice couple (also there for the rally) in front of us started chatting with my kids about hotdogs and condiments. I think the kids thought they were their long lost grandparents. Even Max was talking to them. When we got to the front of the line I realized that they were only taking cash. I didn't have any cash but I thought I would ask anyway just in case. Sure enough...no debit cards. As we started to walk away the nice man in front of us ran over and asked if he could buy us hotdogs. I guess I should have just let him. If I offer to buy something for someone I really mean it. But I declined. I knew I wouldn't be able to find him to pay him back later. So then he tried to give us HIS hotdog. He was so nice that I started to cry. It was so humiliating. I couldn't stop. Is there such a shortage of sincerely NICE people in the world that when you finally meet them it brings tears to your eyes? I guess so. I cried all the way to the American History museum where we bought a snack in the gift shop. It was embarrassing.

This is Max waiting on the cool floor of the American History Museum for Joey. Both of our phones died. Neither of us realized that there were two entrances. We waited for 40 minutes at one entrance while Joey waited at the other. How did anyone reconnect at amusement parks and such 20 years ago before cell phones??

I think Joey had a good vacation.

What do you think?

Who has been to DC?

What was your favorite attraction?

Where did you stay and did you like it?

What kind of shoes did you wear?

(I forgot about the day that we got lost while we were WALKING and we had to carry the kids part of the way because there was NO SHOULDER and it was kind of scary and we were really tired and we were walking in spiky weeds and thistles and my FLIP FLOP broke?!! Absolutely could not wear it anymore. Had to walk the streets of DC with a bare naked foot. I made a comment about getting an STD. Joey was confused about how I planned on getting one of those. Haha...I didn't think about what the initials stand for. I very seldom think before I speak. Mom and Dad...do you remember when you took us to DC when I was 5 or 6 and I got my first pair of flip flops to tour the city on foot? I guess your poor decision making was passed on. Haha...no blisters this time though.)

What is your all-time favorite vacation that you've taken with your kids?

Stay tuned for talk of babies...

Florida

2010-09-07T09:06:00.004-06:00

First I must thank Hayden for driving us to the aiport at the crack of dawn. And apologize for not being ready when he got there to get us. It was seriously early. What a nice guy.

We flew Continental Airlines. Their little snacks were seriously full meals. We had cereal and juice in the morning and then chips and subs at lunchtime. And it was the cheapest flight I could find anywhere. I was a little perturbed that we had to pay to watch tv (so I didn't). Until we got on our Southwest flights later that week and there was not even an option...no tv's! We've been spoiled too much by Delta. (Thank goodness for Patty who gave Joey a book and a book on tape the day before we left, so we both had something to do. Can you believe I didn't bring a single book?)

Florida was pretty awesome.

The water was WARM...seriously warm.

There were tons of cools shells and other sea life all over the beach.

(Gwen did not like this little find of Joey's. I think the empty eye sockets freaked her out.)

We ate at this DELICIOUS diner in Miami. The only thing we did in Miami. It was the best restaurant from our whole vacation. If you are ever in the area, go there. 11th Street Diner.

Steve drove us to this orange orchard.

There weren't any oranges.

But while helping Daisy pick a mango right off the tree, Joey got one right smack in the teeth.

There was blood.

We all laughed.

Steve also drove us to a "flea" market that I was dying to go to.

It was disgusting even for my taste.

So gross.

I overheard one vendor say, "Yeah...it will seriously mess you up."

Then he tried to sell me something.

I think it was lotion.

The kids got their own beds.

Which was good since Max sleeps like this.

Thanks MOM and DAD for letting us use your Wyndham points.

It was awesome.

In related news, we read this article the day we checked out.

Gross.

I was eating when Joey showed it to me.

Crystal and Steve and their cute cute kids helped us celebrate Joey's 30th birthday while we were there. They got Joey a delicious cake that I guess I didn't get any pictures of. Thanks guys.

In more related news, it is Steves 30th birthday today. Click here to go to their family blog and wish him a happy birthday!

This was a yummy dessert we ate on Joey's b-day.

I was really there. See?

While we were there Crystal introduced me to her awesome sisters etsy site.

Look how cute and creative these bows are!!

Click here to see all of her cute hair accessories.

(If you buy something, tell her I sent you. She doesn't know me. But I want her to like me.)

Birthday Tea Party

2010-09-02T08:49:00.003-06:00

We had a tea party at the Thanksgiving Point gardens for Gwens birthday this year. It was all Joey's idea. How lucky are my kids that they have a dad who loves to surprise them? I probably would have just taken her to Chuck E Cheese and thrown some quarters at her.

(This is Gwens new pose. She says that girls should look away from the camera or not smile at all.)

(Max as wolverine)

Little Pimps

(Are you proud Patty?)

I think this little chatterbox had the most fun. She kept sneaking back to paint her pot and stayed in dress up the whole time.

This one had a run-in with a statue of a bear and screamed bloody murder until Joey finally had to bring him back to the tea party. He wasn't very happy after that.

Thanks to all the cousins who came to make Gwen's birthday special!

And thanks for the presents! They saved us on the airplane the next day.

(And your presents to Joey saved the rest of us on the plane Patty! I didn't bring a single thing to read. The Dred Scott book is good and Joey already finished the book on tape.)

School starts early and I'm tired.

2010-09-01T12:31:00.004-06:00

Okay...here's how it went.

Joey kept Gwen out for an hour after picking her up.

They had a little after school snack date.

When she finally got home my first question to her was, "Who did you sit by at lunch?"

She responded that she didn't know the girl she sat by.

My eyes started welling up with tears again.

I asked if it was a girl from her class.

She told me that it was not.

I almost pulled her out of school right then.

But then Joey informed me that she DOES have a friend.

One of her best friends from last year is in her class again.

She just couldn't find her at lunchtime.

I would have died a thousand deaths and started to cry in the lunch room doorway at the thought of being so presumptuous as to sit by a stranger.

(That of course was before my mom explained to me that crying will only bring more attention to you. Since then I've hardly shed a tear...at least not for myself.)

But it became clear to me quickly that Gwen is indeed not my offspring.

She is confident and she enjoys making new friends and talking to people she doesn't know.

Even when they think she is weird because of it.

One girl showed her where the bathroom was, another girl helped her unstrap her lunchbag from her backpack, another girl played kitties with her at recess, and Gwen loves math. Gwen also picked out a book about Washington D.C. for her teacher and wrote him a note in the front. And he read the book to the class and let her tell about her vacation. (I got this idea from a blog I stalk who is a cousin of my sister in law's husband...click here to read her blog full of good ideas.)

When I asked her if she would like to stay home with me and cuddle for the whole day tomorrow, she declined.

She loves school.

So now I can worry about other things.

Like Max's new obsession.

He tells us every five minutes that he DOES NOT want to be a dad.

He has lots of reasons and they all seem legitimate. Mostly he is scared of growing up.

He is definitely my son.

Now for anyone who currently resides in Richfield and has children attending k-2nd grades....

do you use the new state of the art drop off lanes to deposit your children in the morning?

I was told to drop kids off in the lane closest to the school and then use the other lane to exit.

So I tried it for the first time this morning.

I stopped behind the car in front of me and unlocked the doors for Gwen to get out.

She couldn't get the door opened.

Then I noticed a crossing guard waving her arms frantically for me to move forward.

Because the car in front of me was gone.

So I did.

I unlocked the doors again (because they lock automatically when you drive) and again Gwen couldn't get her door open.

Another lady frantically waves me forward.

So I finally pulled clear to the end where there were no ladies to yell at me.

As Gwen closed her door she turned around and yelled, "You are SOO RUDE MOM!"

(I guess I was taking my frustration out on her.)

Haha...first grade is a lot different from kindergarten. I have to wait 6 hours instead of 3 to apologize for being rude.

And in those 6 hours, she is hating me.

Does anyone remember talking to your friends at recess about how RUDE your mom was?

(I do...sorry mom.)

I am going to write a letter to the school requesting that they put a drop-off tutorial video on their website on what they expect. No stopping? Do I need to purchase an ejectable seat for Gwen? If children could get out of the car as fast and efficiently as adults, I would have more kids. But they can't. They are slow. They have little legs.

Lunch lady land

2010-08-31T14:53:00.004-06:00

This little sweetheart started 1st grade today.

Four days later than everyone else at her school.

Mother of the year right here.

Of course as it always goes, the parents are more nervous than the poor child who has to attend public school with kids and teachers who don't love them like their family does.

I didn't cry when the girl was born.

I didn't cry when she started pre-school and she insisted on walking in by herself.

I felt weird last year when I walked out of her class on the first day of kindergarten and realized that all the other moms were crying and maybe I should be too.

But I just couldn't do it.

I am making up for all of those times today.

I just can't stop.

My eyes and my head ache and I still can't stop crying.

Everyone else has been going for 3 days. They've already established their first grade cliques.

And this isn't half a day of playing anymore. This is serious.

A full day of learning (?) and...............

eating lunch at school.

What if she has no one to sit by? What if she doesn't know where to go?

What if she can't open the things in her lunch box? (This is a legitimate concern. I still open her fruit snacks and other packaged items. I hadn't thought about it until last night. And I've been having nightmares about it all day.)

Recess is one thing when you are all alone....but lunch in the cafeteria!!??

When I started 1st grade I insisted on bringing cold lunch because I was afraid I wouldn't know how to do hot lunch.

How do you know where the trays are? Where does the line start? Things like that.

But then sometimes cold lunch was embarrassing. No awesome treats. Smelly tuna sandwiches. Soggy jelly on your pb&j. Lunch is the worst thing ever invented.

Joey wouldn't let me go with him to pick her up.

I also got an email today about a new drug at school that looks AND tastes like strawberry poprocks.

Awesome.

My kids would totally take candy from a stranger.

It's candy.

Thanks Rachelle.

Extended Summer Vacation

2010-08-27T20:37:00.002-06:00

I finally have the internet after 5 days at hotels.

But...I only have 8 more minutes.

I don't know how to add more time and Joey is gone getting Steve from the airport.

So if anyone is interested, here is a link to look at hundreds and hundreds of unsorted and unedited pictures of our vacation so far.

They are still uploading from my camera, so I might get cut off before they are done.

Click here for the link.

If that doesn't work, here it is. http://picasaweb.google.com/suzy.carlson/FloridaDc#

#9 Cake

2010-08-13T18:30:00.004-06:00

Today I made a cake...from scratch. Ok, I've done this before. But I thought it was an accomplishment that I had all of the ingredients I needed without any trips to the store.

I haven't made this specific cake before and I have a question....

It called for 4 egg whites stiffly beaten.

I am kind of impatient. I beat the eggs and they were white and I think they were getting there.

Well, I thought they WERE there, but when I dumped them in the rest of the mix to "fold" them in, it was still a little runny.

Also, I folded for a minute, but it didn't seem to be mixing like it should, so I just full on mixed it in.

Is this a big deal?

Also...could this be why there are lots of bubbles on the surface of the cake?

Will these bake out? I guess time will tell.

(I swear I just cleaned my oven....on second thought, it might not have been that recently. I remember complaining to Joey while I was doing it...lets pretend. Can you see in the back where I didn't do a very good job in the first place? Haha...)

One last question.

When a recipe calls for a can of corn...is it a big deal to substitute it for a can of cream corn?

Help! I'm about to do it....stop me if I shouldn't. (It's for a soup...so that's ok, right?)

#8 I made dinner...from scratch

2010-08-11T19:16:00.004-06:00

Thanks everyone for all the recipes!

Well, I really only got one actual recipe.
(So thanks Amy B. We are totally friends now.)

I had to plan dinner this morning. (Who seriously does that?)

So I decided to go with "The Food Nanny".

I already loved her, but had never taken the time to look her up.

I decided to make chicken picatta, homemade spaghetti, homemade garlic bread and lemon slush.

I will probably never make spaghetti sauce from scratch again.

Garlic is really hard to peel. And I didn't love it. It was ok though.

I loved the chicken picatta.

Have you ever ordered it from The Cheesecake Factory?

It comes with a cream sauce and I wish this one did...next time.

Also next time...I will not use fresh squeezed lemons.

I wasn't sure if the garlic bread was going to work.

She says to rub a garlic clove on the bread.

I was skeptical.

But it worked. It was kind of awesome.

By the time we sat down to eat I was too tired to document it.

But I did take some pictures of my kids....eating food.

Can you believe that both of them ate all their food?

Crazy.

I will have to try cooking more often.

Go ahead and ignore the plastic cups.

Joey even helped clean up after dinner. Who knew?

Crazy things happen when you put in a little effort.

#7 Oops...

2010-08-10T22:29:00.002-06:00

I threw away Joey's graduation papers....again. Oops. It happened on Friday but I just realized it this morning. Too late for the dumpster.

Joey is done with summer semester and has a few weeks until fall semester starts. Today was a long day for him. By the time "dinner time" rolled around, I think he had had enough of me.

It is no longer cute or funny to not cook dinner every night. And apparently "dinner" cannot be chili mac or cereal more than once a week. (Or maybe ever). Oh well, I had a long run.

The still half frozen fish at 6 o'clock really did me in. And when I finally got out some frozen pot stickers to go with the baking sheet full of frozen stuff that he was making, he didn't love that I had to ask him which directions to follow. Ahhh.....

If you are reading this...please tell me what you are making for dinner tonight, or this week. Please include detailed recipes and pictures of the whole process if possible. Please do not direct me to awesome cookbooks or sites with recipes. I need to know what real people are making and what their real families are willing to eat. And say a little prayer that the cooking classes at the college will have lots of drop outs so that I can get in. (I am on a long waiting list).

#6 Information Overload...have you seen Inception?

2010-08-10T02:29:00.003-06:00

Guess where we were today?

Joey got to help the Whitney's bale hay.

Brian is such a hard worker.

I love that Joey doesn't mind a little hard work either.

The kids and I raided their house while they were gone.

C.S. Lewis is a genius.

Gwen really wants to go to Paris because "that is where The Hunchback of Notre Dame was filmed." Haha...the cartoon. She also sang, "I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart..." under her breath while she colored and watched videos.

(No more radio for me I guess...her first impression of that song was that it was "really rude". I guess she got over that. It makes me wonder if my parents really did like Peter Frampton and Air Supply or if they only started listening to soft rock once we were old enough to sing the words to whatever they were listening to?)

After the hay was baled, the Whitneys took us to see Inception. It gave me a headache. And the popcorn gave me a tummy ache.

(Thanks for watching the kids Marinn!)

Wow...we get babysitters a lot.

#5 Reunion

2010-08-09T13:00:00.003-06:00

Carbon High 10 Year Reunion

(I didn't take these pics...I didn't take any that day though)

There's Joey in the upper right corner

There's me in the upper right corner

Maybe if we were drinking and/or doing body shots we would have made into more pictures.

Most of the people there didn't know who I was. Why would 10 years change that? Everyone knew who Joey was. I talked to 3 people.

No ex-boyfriends, not even any of Joey's ex-girlfirends. Boring.

Thanks for watching the kids Patty.

Thanks for the clothes Randi.

Thanks for the coldsore Mom.

You better go next time Sarah.

#4 Suzy Boggus

2010-08-09T12:48:00.003-06:00

Thanks for dinner and a fun concert Jerry!

Thanks for watching our kids all night Em!!

#3..will I ever learn?

2010-08-05T19:05:00.005-06:00

This happened about a hour ago. At 6. I always think I can make it last through the night. It never does. But once their little eyes close, it is too late anyway. Even 5 minutes counts as a nap to their little bodies and then I have energetic squirts until the wee hours of the morning.

I'm crossing my fingers this time.

The Rass kids came to visit today. My kids cried their little eyes out when it was time for them to go...and of course that led to tired eyes.

Thanks for coming to visit Kelly! Sorry I don't have Joey's fashion sense. Or any fashion sense.

Wear the vest!!

Also...one of my favorite people started a blog. Click here to read it.

She just moved and we are all so sad.

We were hoping she would stay with us to finish school, but her parents like her a lot too apparently.

This girl is seriously so amazing.

I forget that she is still in high school sometimes.

She acts like an adult.

More than me at least.

Sometimes she is the parent at her house.

She is so unassuming and grateful in a world where entitlement is rampant.

And she gets me. That is rare. She doesn't get offended by anything I say and sometimes she thinks I'm funny.

She also hates to have her picture taken.

(Staci...I love you and Darren too.)

#2

2010-08-05T09:25:00.005-06:00

Joey had to come home yesterday in the middle of finals week.

I booked too many photo shoots and needed him to watch the kids.

They missed him. When Max woke up Monday morning and Joey was gone, he was so mad he wouldn't talk to me for an hour.

They talk about him all the time and tell me how much they prefer him to me.

They draw him pictures and leave him messages while he is in class.

Yet this nighttime vigil was not for Joey, but for the babysitter the kids had been anticipating all day. He sat with the mosquitoes for almost an hour.

They were mad everytime I left the house and Joey stayed.

They couldn't wait for us to leave.

And they always complain when we get home.

Yay for babysitters!

Photo A Day #1

2010-08-03T14:26:00.002-06:00

I borrowed this idea from my friend Jess's little sister Alex. Who is also cousins with my kids favorite family, the Cedar City Beard/Tavoian/Whitneys.

We'll see how long I last. I haven't been a very faithful blogger lately.

Maybe this will help.

Prepare for lots of pictures of a messy house, messy kids and messy hair.

P.S. One of the reasons for doing this is supposedly to make you a better photographer.

I'm not counting on this because I am lazy about uploading pictures unless I have just finished a shoot. So most of the pictures will probably be taken on my phone like this one.

My phone camera doesn't even have a flash.

This is how Gwen unloads the dishwasher.

At least it eliminates bending over to get the dishes out before I put them away.

Silly girl.

Hello Again.

2010-07-26T08:59:00.004-06:00

Where to start?

I guess the end is always the best place to start.

Right?

Well we just got home from Bear Lake. We went for a family reunion and I loved it.

I love Joey's family so it was no surprise that it was a blast.

I might have cried a little on the way home.

We shared a double wide with Erik and Kelly. I don't think Kelly wants to talk to me for awhile. I am hard to live with...even for a few days.

AND...I didn't take a single picture. So maybe when Elyse posts hers I will steal some.

*UPDATE*

My awesome mother in law emailed me her pictures from Bear Lake this morning.

Max kept telling us he was "Weddy to wide da Weenie!"

Lori took Max for a ride on the wave runner. His favorite thing about her is her black hair.

.....................................

A few weeks before that, I was called to be a primary teacher.

I cried a lot when I got home.

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The DVD player in my car is being fixed and has been for over a week now.

With Joey living out of town to go to school that means the kids and I have no car.

Last week we just sat at home and neglected all of our errands.

This week it will mean begging for rides or walking a lot.

(Staci....if you read this soon, come and get me.)

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These two are getting married on Thursday.

Eight kids between them.

Cross your fingers.

Mom...can I catch a ride?

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The Carlson side got another little boy. The boy/girl ratio is starting to get a little closer.

Congrats Kelli and Chad!

(Still no picture...sorry)

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We are all booked for an awesome vacation to the 8/28 rally at the Lincoln Memorial. I hope there are no incidents with the Black Panthers. Can I say that on a blog? Now I am more scared. To see what the 8/28 (Restoring Honor) rally is go here. We are stopping in Florida first to say hello to this cute little family that we love before they move away from sunny Florida forever.

(Picture used without permission)

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And now since work ALWAYS comes first, I only have pictures of the work I've been doing and none of my cute little family enjoying the sunshine. I DO have pictures, they are just still RAW and not jpegs that I can post. So until I get those ready for posting, here is a little of what I've been doing while Joey struggles through the first math class he's taken in over 10 years. Probably more like 15. Poor kid.

Miss McCall

2010-06-21T20:37:00.003-06:00

This is a little bit of what I've been doing.

This is a poster for Miss Richfield.

Which one do you like better?

It doesn't matter because they are already printed and out and the pageant is this weekend.

I just want to know what you think.

Isn't she beautiful? She is wonderful to work with too. So easy going and funny.

And you couldn't ask for a better pageant mom.

We used to be in the same ward and McCall's dad was our bishop.

Love them.

Go here to see some more of her.

Delia, Oh Delia

2010-06-14T20:59:00.003-06:00

Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life
If I hadn't have shot poor
Delia I'd have had her for my wife
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

I went up to Memphis
And I met Delia there

Found her in her parlor
And I tied her to her chair
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

She was low down and trifling
And she was cold and mean
Kind of evil make me want to Grab my sub machine
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

First time I shot her I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

But jailer, oh, jailer Jailer,
I can't sleep 'Cause all around my bedside
I hear the patter of Delia's feet
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

So if you woman's devilish
You can let her run
Or you can bring her down and do her
Like Delia got done
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

Johnny Cash

Dear Joey,

I know last night while we were driving in the car, neither of us speaking, that we were thinking hard about song lyrics. What else could we do?

I know hearing Johnny sing Delia's Gone hit home for both of us.

You wishing you could kill me.

Me knowing that you wish you could kill me.

Sorry about that.

I don't think I am "low down and triflin'", but who can really see that in themselves? I know I can be cold and mean. (I don't know why I didn't cry when our children were born. I think I have to blame my mom on this one.) But thank you for using restraint. The kids might not need me, but who would teach them anything of value if you were in jail?

Suzy

Lots of words....I know....BORING

2010-06-02T11:20:00.005-06:00

I hate when people say that they are slacking at blogging. I guess I shouldn't say that I hate when other people say it, but I would never say it because I wouldn't want to assume that anyone cared. So I won't say it. But I do feel bad for never acknowledging or responding to comments.

To show that I am sorry, instead of just saying it, I am going to pick out a few recent commenters and acknowledge them.

Lucy/Marion and Misha-sha-sha...

I am so excited that you were brave enough to leave a comment! I am such a blog stalker and I never leave comments. Hurray for new cyberspace friends!

Aunt Elaine...

I feel bad that you don't have a blog that I can leave return comments on. You should get one. I've been wondering lately the story behind you changing your name. Growing up I was told not to mention it. Or maybe I just had good manners. But I feel like I know you well enough to ask now. I think we are enough alike to know that you don't mind talking about yourself. I don't think you have lots of secrets. So let's hear it.

(Do you think I look like my Aunt Elaine? She is my doppleganger. What do you think?)

(These are her pretty daughters. The one on the right is my new best friend Sarah. If she wasn't so old we might have been best friends growing up too. Just kidding. When I was little they lived in Alaska and she was Miss Valdez and I was so excited to get her autograph. What a dork I was growing up.)

Mom...

I'm sorry for tormenting you on my blog. I'm glad you can take it. See you soon.

Dad...

I don't like your new job. You work a lot. I am used to being able to get ahold of you at the drop of a hat. I am taking you off as my emergency contact.

No, not really.

Between you and Patty they should be able to get ahold of one grandparent who lives over an hour away when I have an emergency. Maybe I should make friends closer to home.

I probably won't. I blame you for my social anxiety.

(You're still my hero...sorry mom. He was gone a lot growing up, it's only natural)

Marilyn, Jennie, Sarah...

Happy Late Birthday!

(And thanks for sending your friends over Jennie)

(That is Marilyn on the end on my parents wedding day. She is an amazing photographer and is so nice to share ideas with me and to let me pick her brain. She helped me clean my room once when I was little. And I always think when I am cleaning of her telling me that "everything needs a place". So true. so true.

This is Sarah and her gorgeous SIL. You are gorgeous too Sarah. (We were roommates in college. She totally knows what Joey is going through. I wish she would come and clean my side of the room again.)

And this is Jennie...in Spain. Lucky. She even has kids. And she didn't take them. Double lucky.

Sibs...

I miss you. Sorry I am self centered and never call. Or tell you when I am in town.

(But don't pretend like you all don't drive through Richfield on your way to St. G without even stopping to say hello. I don't care. Just as long as you don't give me a hard time when I do the same.)

This is my sis and her fiance and their combined children. EEK!

I'm tired of this.

Sorry if I skipped you. Leave me a comment and I will reserve a special space for you in a my next post.

Here is what we have been doing a lot of:

(in case he makes me take it down before anyone sees, it is a picture of Joey at the gym)

disclaimer: I MADE Joey take his shirt off and let me take pictures while he worked out. There was no one else at the gym, so he let me. But then people started to slowly filter in and he was such a good sport. Thanks Joe. Lookin' good though, right?